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Knock Knock jokes - Knock Knock Who's there ? Cotton ! Cotton who ? Cotton a trap !
Farmer jokes - Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated the country ? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine boy and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone !
Aviation jokes - Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the captain, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean." The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation, but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency, and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane, and all the swimmers are on the right side." After this announcement, all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later, the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open you r emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... "Thank You For Flying Lufthansa."
Political jokes - If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been" Why do we "need" dozens of new government programs to fix it!
Various animal jokes - A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Doctor and nurse jokes - What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy? If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.
Political jokes - Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional ammendment. A: Only one. If he can handle 250000000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra lightbulb.
Car and train jokes - Q) What's worse than raining buckets? A) Hailing taxis!
School jokes - Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school
Apple jokes - The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
Movie and TV jokes - Q: How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
Bus jokes - What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ? The deceased !
Fishing jokes - A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
School jokes - Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
Yo momma jokes - yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 seconds.