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One day two blind men started fighting. Pretty soon a crowd surrounded them. Then one of the members of the crowd yelled out "I bet 10 bucks on the one with the knife." Both men ran away.

Losowe wpisy

» There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada. "You know," said one of the explorers, "we should name this place we're hiking through." "I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that." "Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh." "N, eh." "D, eh." And that's how they named Canada...
» Dad: Don't be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time. Son: I do, Dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!
» Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. "if I ever stop hating girls," said one to the other, "I think I'll stop hating her first."
» A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
» Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Look, for only $87 billion, we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.
» Q: What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A: A gorilla with a machine gun.
» Why was the centipede late ? Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !
» A customer needed help setting up a new program, so the technician suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the man said. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."
» Q: What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? A: You make my temperature rise.
» Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria!
» What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
» Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blonde's? A: Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter, and they don't mind if you bring friends.
» An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
» What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married.
» A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires. After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enuff and said, "My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother ?"