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How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts
Losowe wpisy
- » A blonde is suffering from a
sore throat so
she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to
the doctor
who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says
"Open
wide." "I can't" replies the blonde, "the chair's fitted with
arms."
- » Did you hear about the two
Blondes that
were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie
theater?
They went to see "Closed for Winter".
- » What do you get if you cross an eel
with a
shopper?
A slippery customer.
- » While driving along the back roads of a
small town, two
truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read
CLEARANCE 11'3."
They got out and measured their rig, which was
12'4."
"What do you think?" one asked the other.
The
driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a
cop in
sight. Let's take a chance!"
- » Q: What's the difference between a blonde and
an ironing
board?
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an
ironing board.
- » A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was
pushed off by
the people inside. There's no room,' they said. 'It's
full up!'
'But you must let me on!' shouted the man.
'Why,
what's so special about you?' they asked.
I'm the driver,'
replied the man.
- » United
Airlines FA: "Ladies and
Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our
Captain has landed in
Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines we'd
like to thank you for
flying with us today and please be very careful
as you open the
overhead bins as you may be killed by falling luggage
that shifted
during our so called "touch down."
- » Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you
please.
Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure
numbers.
- » What do you get if you cross a worm and a young
goat ?
A dirty kid !
- » What did the envelope say to the
stamp?
"Stick with me and we'll go places."
- » Whats green and goes round and
round at 100
miles an hour ?
A frog in a blender !
- » What do computer experts do at weekends?
Go
for a disk drive.
- » Yo mama so fat she's got her own
area
code!
- » A man is fibbing
away about how
great things are in his country. Finally, he starts
describing the
tall buildings in his country.
"There is a building so tall, it
took my friend Alex 72 hours to fall
off it!"
"Oh, my God!"
says his friend. "Surely he must have died!"
"Of course. He was
without food or water for 3 days!"
- » What do you call a thick-skinned
aardvark?
A hardvark!