Treść
WARNING: Consumption of
alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small
(and
sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.
Losowe wpisy
- » I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi
- » What does an aardvark take for
ant-digestion?
Anta-Seltzer!
- » What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ?
A
firefly with a short circuit !
- » Boy: You've
got a face like a million
dollars.
Girl: Have I really?
Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly.
- » Q.What are the worst six years in a
blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.
- » Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to
prison. During his stay, he
got along well with the guards and all his
fellow inmates. The warden saw
that deep down, Andy was a good
person and made arrangements for Andy
to learn a trade while doing his
time. After three years, Andy was
recognized as one of the best
carpenters in the local area. Often he would
be given a weekend pass
to do odd jobs for the citizens of the
community.... and he always
reported back to prison before Sunday night was
over.
The
warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done
much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of
kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his
wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the
job
for him.
But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden,
Gosh, I'd really like to
help you but counter fitting is what go
t me into prison in the first
place.
- » What is the difference between a
locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, the other
trains the mind.
- » Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !
- » What do young ghosts write their homework in?
Exorcise books.
- » What do ghosts like about riding horses?
Ghoulloping.
- » There are a
lot of folks that can't
understand how we ran out of oil here in the
USA.
Well, here's the
answer: It's simple.........nobody bothered to check
the oil. Didn't
know we were getting low. And of course the reason for
that is
geographical. Most of the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma, and all
the
dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.
- » Why are fish cleverer than humans?
Ever
seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Agnes
!
Agnes who ?
Agnes & Topeka & the Santa Fe !
- » A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with
his family. Suddenly,
he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and
fainted.
"Darling, it was just a shark," said his wife when he
came to.
"You've got to stop imagining that there are lawyers
everywhere."
- » "Take the wheel, Harry!" said the
nervous lady driver. "There's a tree
coming straight for us!"