Treść
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that
ate his
uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
Losowe wpisy
- » What is the
strongest bird ?
A crane !
- » Where do sharks come
from?
Sharkago!
- » Is that your face or are you
wearing
your hair back to front today?
- » It seems that there was a little old church
out in the countryside: painted white and with a high
steeple.
One Sunday, the pastor noticed that his church needed painting. He
checked out the Sunday ads and found a paint sale. The next day, he
went
into town and bought a gallon of white paint. He went back out
to the
church and began the job.
He got done with the first
side. It was looking great. But he noticed
he had already used a
half gallon. He didn't want to run back in town
and being the
creative person that he was, he found a gallon of thinner
in the shed out
back, and began to thin his paint.
It worked out great. He
finished the remaining three sides with that
last half gallon of
paint.
That night, it rained: it rained hard. The next morning when he
stepped
outside of the parsonage to admire his work, he saw that
the first side
was looking great, but that the paint on the oth
er three sides had
washed away.
The pastor looked up in sky
in anguish and cried out, "What shall I
do?"
A voice came
back from the heavens saying, "Repaint, and thin no
more!"
- » What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the
freezer ?
Mice cubes !
- » Someone -- always a man -- always
asks, "does the
ship run on generators?" The Cruise Director
usually
tells them, "No, we just have a very long power line
running
to the mainland."
- » Once upon a time there was a little girl who
wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn't buy a kitten
and
parcel it up for Christmas Day, so she bought it a week before
Christmas
and gave it to the little girl.
'You're getting
your Christmas present a week early this year,' her
mother
explained as she handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten.
'Is that what
you want?'
The little girl said, 'It's wonderful,
mother...just what I wanted.
There's just one thing wrong!'
'What's that?' her mother asked.
'Well, it has a cute little claw
on the outside of every paw and
another little claw on the inside
of every paw - but the poor little thing
has no claws at all in the
middle of its paws!'
Her mother smiled. 'Don't worry, Kitty.
When you wake up on Christmas
morning you'll find the claws are
there.'
Now Kitty loved her kitten dearly, but she worrie
d about the claws in
the middle of its paws. The days passed and
there wasn't even a hint, a
clue or an inkling of claws in the
middle of its paws.
When Christmas Eve arrived and there was still
no sign, Kitty went to
her mother and asked again, 'Are you
absolutely sure that the kitten
will have its middle claws tomorrow?
There's only a few hours to go and
there's not a hint or clue or an
inkling as to claws as far as I can
see.'
'Wait till you
wake up on Christmas morning,' her mother smiled and
went on
stuffing the turkey.
So Kitty went to sleep a worried girl. When she
woke up on Christmas
morning she ignored the presents in her
stocking and rushed downstairs to
look at her little kitten.
She
was astounded, amazed and just a little surprised to see that her
kitten had four claws on every paw! The middle ones had appeared as if
by magic.
Kitty rushed to her parent's bedroom. 'Mummy
, Mummy! The kitten has
grown its middle claws!'
'Of
course it has,' her mother grinned.
'But how did you know?'
Kitty demanded.
Her father rolled over sleepily and sighed, 'Oh,
Kitty, everybody
knows that Centre-claws always comes at
Christmas!'
- » If you put 30 female Apes and 30 male Apes in
a bedroom, what do you
have?
A very large bedroom.
- » Q: Why are conductors' hearts popular for
transplants?
A: They've had little use.
- » Q: How do you sink a
Polish ship?
A:
Put it in water.
- » What do
lovesick owls say when it's
raining?
Too-wet-to-woo.
- » Why do you think your report should be on the
net?
Because my marks are all 'E's.
- » Why do aardvarks make undesirable
neighbors?
Because they always have their noses in other people's
business!
- » There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Kleptomaniac Barbie ...doll
with suction cup hands
- » How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle
!