Treść
What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs.
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: How can you steal the window seat of a
blonde
on a plane going to London?
A: Tell her the seats that are
going to London are all in the middle
row.
- » Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a
firework flashed across the sky.
1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could
fly like that.
2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire.
- » Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out
of a
blonde's mouth?
A: Einstein's dick.
- » Have you seen www.veryangry.com?
No, AND
STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!
- » Why does a mother carry
her baby?
The baby
can't carry the mother.
- » Your head is sooooo bald I mistook you
for a green
rabbit.
- » An old
lady saw a little boy with a
fishing-rod over his shoulder and a jar of
tadpoles in his hand walking
through the park one Sunday. "Little
boy," she called, "don't you
know you shouldn't go fishing on a
Sunday?" "I'm not going
fishing, ma'am," he called back, "I'm going
home."
- » Three men were standing in line to get
into heaven one day.
Apparently it had been a pretty busy day,
though, so Peter had to tell
the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty
close to full today, and I've
been asked to admit only people who
have had particularly horrible
deaths. So what's your story?"
So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife
has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch
her
red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could
tell
something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal
where this
other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to
the balcony, and
sure enough, there was this man hanging off the
railing, 25 floors
above ground! By now I was really mad, so I
started beating on him and
kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he
wouldn't fall off. So finally I
went back into my apartment and
got a hammer and starting hammering on
his fingers. Of course, he
couldn't stand that for long, so he let go
and fell -- but even
after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned
but okay. I
couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen,
grabbed the fridge
and threw it over the edge where it landed on him,
killing him
instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a
heart
attack and died there on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty
bad day to me," said Peter, and let the
man in.
The second
man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being
full, and
again asks for his story.
"It's been a very strange day. You
see, I live on the 26th floor of
my apartment building, and every
morning I do my exercises out on my
balcony. Well, this morning I
must have slipped or something, because I
fell over the edge. But I
got lucky, and caught the railing of the
balcony on the floor
below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when
suddenly
this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was
saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best
I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and
started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got
lucky
and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when
I was
thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes
falling out of
the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty
horrible death.
The third man came to the front of the
line, and again Peter explained
that heaven was full and asked for his
story.
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside
a
refrigerator..."
- » What did the maggot say to his friend when he
got stuck
in an apple ?
Worm your way out of that one !
- » What did the apple say to the apple
pie?
"You've got some crust."
- » What's grey and moves at a hundred
miles
an hour ?
A jet propelled elephant !
- » What do you get if you cross a bee with a
parrot?
An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!
- » Losing an Electric Drill by Andy Gadget
- » What do you call an ant from overseas
?
Impartant
- » Q. What do they
call pastors in
Germany?
A. German Shepherds.