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What is uglier than an aardvark?
Two
aardvarks!
Losowe wpisy
- » A mom
and dad were worried about their son
not wanting to learn math at the
school he was in, so they decided
to send him to a Catholic school.
After the first day of school,
their son comes racing into the house, goes
straight into his room
and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a
little worried about this
and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find
him sitting at
his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that
for the rest
of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his
report
card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see
under
math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed
your mind
about learning math?"
The son looked at mom and
dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I
walked into the
classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the
back of the room
behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant
business."
- » When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns
his cow into pasture.
- » Which rabbit was a famous female aviator?
Amelia Harehart.
- » For what person do all men take off
their hats?
The barber.
- » What does a monster mom say to her
kids at
dinnertime?
Don't talk with someone in your mouth.
- » Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out
of a
blonde's mouth?
A: Einstein's dick.
- » Q. Which
area of Palestine was
especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always
overflowing.
- » A frog came into a bank to obtain a loan. He
spoke to the loan officer Mr. Paddywack. When Mr. Paddywack asked the
frog
what he had for loan collateral, the frog held out his hand.
"What's
that?" asked Mr. Paddywack, but the frog could not talk. So,
Mr.
Paddywack took the frog in to see the manager and explained the
situation.
The manager then asked the frog what collateral he had
for the loan and
the frog held out his hand. "Oh," said the manager,
"that's a
knickknack Paddywack, give the frog a loan."
- » What do you get if you cross a
tarantula
with a rose ?
I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it !
- » "My
boyfriend says I look like a dishy
Italian!"said Miss Conceited.
''Then he's right said her little
brother.''Sophia Loren?''
"No-spaghetti!''
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Attila
!
Attila who ?
Attila you no lies !
- » Why do penguins eat fish?
Because donuts
get soggy before they can catch them.
- » Flight fifty
has a pretty rough time
above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the
intercom: "Ladies and
gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and
assume crash
positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put
this baby as
gentle as possible down on the water".
"Oh stewardess! Are there
any sharks in the ocean below?" asks a
little old lady,
terrified.
"Yes, I'm afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a
special
gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for
emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and
legs".
"And if I do this, the sharks won't eat me any more?" asks the
little lady.
"Oh, they will eat you all right, only they
won't enjoy it so
much".
- » How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?
If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!
- » Manager: Twenty
teams in the league and you
lot finish bottom?
Captain: Well, it could have been
worse.
Manager: How?
Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!