Treść
What does the aardvark call his
dog?
Aard-bark!
Losowe wpisy
- » What do you call a 100
year old frog ?
An
old croak !
- » What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign,
'Clean
Washroom'?
He cleaned it!
- » Where do you take a sick wasp?
To
waspital.
- » Teacher: I wished you would pay a little
attention
Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can !
- » "The trouble is," said the entertainer
to
the psychiatrist, "that I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't
tell
jokes, I can't act, I can't play an instrument or juggle or
do magic
tricks or do anything!"
"Then why don't you give up
show business?"
"I can't - I'm a star!"
- » If I had but one life to give for my country,
it
would be a lawyer's.
- » Doctor, doctor, I'm having difficulty sleeping.
Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed.
Oh, I'm all right at night,
it's in the day I have
problems.
- » The teacher asked Simon to say his name
backwards.
"No mis" he replied
- » A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad
in a lawsuit filed by
an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was
missing from the section
through which the railroad passed. The
rancher only wanted to be paid
the fair value of the bull.
The
case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in
the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the
railroad immediately cornered the rancher and
tried to get him to settle
out of court. The lawyer did his best selling
job, and finally the
rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the
rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young
lawyer
couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the
rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one
over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was
asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went thr
ough your
ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on
the stand. I
bluffed you!"
The old rancher replied, "Well,
I'll tell you, young feller, I was a
little worried about winning
that case myself, because that durned bull
came home this
morning."
- » Two Marines were sitting around talking one day.
The
first Marine asked the second Marine, "If they were to drop a
bomb right
now, what would be the first thing you would
do?"
The second Marine said, "I would screw the first thing that moved.
What would you do?"
The first Marine replied, "I would stand
very still for half an
hour."
- » A man was staying in a big old
house and in
the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said,
"I have
been walking these corridors for 300 years."
The man said, "in that
case, can you tell me the way to the
toilet?"
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Cricket
!
Cricket who ?
Cricket neck means I can't lift anything !
- » Does your dog know how how to
surf the
internet?
No - but he's got a ruff idea.
- » What did the dog say to the pig?
You are just a
bore.
- » I can't understand why people say my
girlfriend's legs look like
matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but
they certainly don't
match.