Treść
What do you get if you cross a bee with a
parrot?
An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!
Losowe wpisy
- » A man needing a
heart transplant
is told by his doctor that the only heart available is
that of a
sheep. The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the
sheep
heart into the man. A few days after the operation, the man comes in
for a checkup. The doctor asks him "How are you feeling?" The man
replies "Not BAAAAD!"
- » "The auditors have just left,
sir."
"Did they check the books?"
"Very thoroughly."
"What
did they say?"
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
- » How many tax advisors does it take to change a
light bulb?
"In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in
Hawaii, dealing
exactly with this issue."
- » "You seem to have more than the average
share of intelligence for a man of
your background," sneered the lawyer
at a witness on the stand. "If I
wasn't under oath, I'd return
the compliment," replied the
witness.
- » Judge: Your first marriage
was terminated by
death?
A: Yes, by death.
Judge: And by whose death was it
terminated?
- » Technical support had a
caller complaining
that her mouse was hard to control with the dust
cover on. The
cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was
packaged in.
- » Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !
- » A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but
missed!
- » What
cake wanted to rule the world?
Attila the Bun.
- » What do you call a policeman with blonde
hair ?
A fair cop !
- » A man leaves a bar,
gets into his car and
drives away. 200 yards further he's stopped by a
police officer.
Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken
driving. Would you please blow into this machine?".
Man: "I'm sorry,
I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that
machine I will
get out of air".
Officer: "Please come along to the office and we
can give you a blood
test".
Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia
and if you stick a needle in me
I will bleed to death".
Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this
white
line".
Man: "Can't do that either".
Officer: "Why not?". Man:
"Because I'm dead drunk".
- » A wife was
berating her husband. He
motioned for her to quiet
down saying, "Don't unleash the beast in
me."
The wife snickered and replied, "Unlike a lot of women,
'dear',
I'm not the least bit afraid of a mouse."
- » What part of a football ground is never the same
?
The changing rooms !
- » Q. What do you call a dead blonde in a
closet?
A. The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion.
- » Army Jokes by Major Laugh