Treść
Who loves
hamburgers, French fries, and
ants?
Ronald MacAardvark!
Losowe wpisy
- » Colin
Powell, once USA's highest ranking
military officer, (now Secretary of
State), loves to relate this
incident from his Vietnam days. It shows the
importance of clear
objectives.
Finding an outpost at a very vulnerable spot, Powell
decided to
investigate why it was location was chosen. He was assured
that it was a very
important outpost.
"What's it's
mission?"
" To protect the airfield!"
"What's the airfield here
for?"
"To resupply the outpost!"
- » A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to
steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the
shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you
say I
just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
The
manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the
slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can
you show me something less expensive?"
- » What would you call two
banana skins ?
A
pair of slippers.
- » Have you seen
www.quicksand.com?
Yes,
but it hasn't sunk in yet.
- » What is the difference
between an elephant
and a flea?
An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have
elephants !
- » Q: How many Librans does it take to change a
lightbulb? A: Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the
dark?
- » Why was the struggling mange
seen shaking
the club cat?
To see if there was any more money in the kitty!
- » Question: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down
his pants?
Answer: He heard the snowblower coming.
- » What did the pig say
when he found a line of
ants in his trough?
"Mmm. Canapes."
- » What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold.
- » An airplane was losing altitude
over the
Rocky Mountains. The pilot over
the intercom said that the entire
luggage needed to be thrown overboard
if they were to
survive.
After all the luggage was thrown the plane was still going down so
they
asked for volunteers. A man from Paris went to the door and
said,
"Viva
la France." Next a preacher went to the door and said,
"Lord forgive
me
for what I must do." Finally a rich Texas cattle
rancher said, "Well
guess I got to do my part," and he grabbed two
Mexicans and tossed
them
out and yelled, "Remember the Alamo!.
- » There's this cathedral that's still being
worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so
they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A
characteristic
of these "cage elevators" is that the doors (gate) must be
closed
manually for them to be "called" to another floor.
One
day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the
top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the
sexton. Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open. After the
sexton
rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up
for the
worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the
cathedral were
treated to this sight: The sexton of the cathedral, head
tipped up, yelling
up to the heavens:
"Peter! CLOSE THE
GATES!!!"
- » How do jockeys determine which
racehorses
are the favourites?
They take a gallop poll!
- » Where does an elephant carry its laptop?
In
its trunk.
- » Q: What is the definition of a Soviet
String
Quartet?
A: A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!