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- » Do you know what a mice said when it saw a bat? Mom ! I see an angel.
- » Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness? - He refused becuase he hadn't seen the accident.
- » Knock Knock Who's there ! Crete ! Crete who ? Crete to see you again !
- » Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers ?
- » What dogs are best for sending telegrams ? Wire haired terriers !!
- » Knock Knock Who's there ! Beirut ! Beirut who ? Beirut force !
- » Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here's got room in their houses for a mammoth.
- » The Albanian planted lightbulbs in his garden. He heard that tulips grew from bulbs.
- » Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo? One to get in and one to get out.
- » Which snakes are found on cars? Windscreen vipers.
- » My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!
- » When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a "Bud."
- » Teacher : In the exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question. Pupil : How long for the answer sir !
- » What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw.
- » What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.