Treść
What does an aardvark keep in his
aquarium?
An aard-shark!
Losowe wpisy
- » Why don't ghosts make good magicians.
You
can see right through their tricks.
- » Father Christmas: All right, my good lady,
my face is my ticket.
Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch
out... there's a feller
inside who has the job of punching the
tickets.
- » Fred: Where does the new kid come from?
Harry: Alaska.
Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself.
- » Q: Who has the right of
way when
four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up
truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying,
"Guns don't
kill people. I do."
- » What's a fresh vegetable? One that insults a
farmer.
- » A group of
psychiatrists were
attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and
walked out
together. One said to the other three, "People are always
coming to us
with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can
go to
when we have problems." The others agreed.
Then one said, "Since
we are all professionals, why don't we take
some time right now to
hear each other out?"
The other three agreed.
The first
then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable desire to kill my
patients."
The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things and so
I find
ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can
so I can buy
the things I want."
The third followed with,
"I'm involved with selling drugs and often
get my patients to sell
them for me."
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know
I'm not supposed to,
but no matter how hard I try, I can't kee
p a secret..."
- » Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming of
bats, creepy-crawlies, demons,
ghosts, monsters, vampires, werewolves
and yetis.
Doctor: How interesting. Do you always dream in
alphabetical
order?
- » At a medical
convention, a male
doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male
doctor
asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the
restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.
After dinner,
one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel
bedroom.
Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says
she has
to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it.
After
the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her
hands.
As she comes back the male doctor says, "I bet you are a
surgeon".
She confirms and asks how he knew.
"Easy, you're always
washing your hands."
She then says, "I bet you're an
anesthesiologist."
Male doctor: "Wow, how did you guess?"
Female doctor: "I
didn't feel a thing."
- » A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and
asked his
mother, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the
slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought
you to us."
"Oh," said
the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought
us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy
persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by
now
starting to squirm a little.
Several days later, the boy
handed in his paper to the teacher who read
with confusion the
opening sentence: "This report has been very
difficult to write due to
the fact that there hasn't been a natural
childbirth in my family
for three generations."
- » Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away
from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy
over to give her a ride.
- » Women are like guns,
keep one around long
enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
- » How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
They both have rings!
- » I just spotted a Chihuahua!
That wasn't very
nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!
- » A brain walks into a bar and
says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks
at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" askes the
brain.
"You're already out of your head."
- » A recruit examines the food served to him
in the batallion dining room.
- Do I have any choice here, he
asks a sergeant.
- Yes, you do. You may eat it or not.