a
b
c
d
e
f
g
h
i
j
k
l
m
n
o
p
r
s
t
u
v
w
x
y
z

Menu

Treść

Q. What do you call a one legged linedancer? A. Eileen (I Lean)

Losowe wpisy

» One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, "You should be hung!" To which he calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass!"
» "I was in a very generous mood today," a woman says to her friend. "I gave a poor beggar $25." "Thats a lot of money to give away," says her friend. "What did your husband say?" "He said, 'Thank you'. "
» Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ? So he could hide in the cherry tree !
» Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
» What do you call an alcoholic dog ? A whino !
» A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
» With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called "Marriage Anonymous." Whenever a guy feels like getting married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.
» Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up!
» A little girl climbed into her grandfather's lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck. "Did god make you?", she asked. "yes" he answered. "did god makeme, to?" she wondered. "yes", he replied. "well, she shrugged, "don't you think he's doing a better job now than he used to?"
» The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. He directed a nearby Air Force base that will be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?" The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!" The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What s kills to you bring to the Air Force?" The young man says, "I chop wood!" "Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?" "I chop wood!" "Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!" "Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!" "Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!" The young man rolls his eyes and says, "So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!"
» Why do ducks have webbed feet ? To stamp out forest fires !
» Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding ? They got jellygated !
» Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Look, for only $87 billion, we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet.
» What do you call a horse that's been all around the world? A globe-trotter!
» What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !