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What's a blondes idea of natural childbirth? No make-up.

Losowe wpisy

» Jett was trying to light a match. He struck the first one and it didn't work, so he threw it away. He struck the second match. That didn't work either, so he tossed it. Jett struck the third one and it lit up. "That's a good one!" said the idiot, blowing it out. "Ah'm gonna save it!"
» What Do you tell a woman with two black eyes ? Nothing, you told her twice.
» There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Easter Island Barbie ...the famous statue with blonde hair
» Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine.
» What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.
» Knock Knock Who's there ! April ! April who ? April might make you feel better !
» Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle. "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'." "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'." The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. n "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank."
» What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!
» Bad timing for an excuse Teacher: Why were you late? Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!
» FARMER: Did you sleep well last night? GUEST: No, the bed was soft and the air was fresh, but an old sow kept pushing at the door. FARMER: Never mind her. She always gets upset when we rent out her room.
» Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you're so smart, what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!
» How did a Gorilla come to be with Washington at Valley Forge? He had seen a sign saying, 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'
» Q: How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: It was supposed to be in place last week!
» Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president's spouse, Bill Clinton.
» What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog? A terrified postman.