Treść
Q: Why did the blond quit his restroom
attendant job?
A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer!
Losowe wpisy
- » You mama's so skinny ....she can hang glide
with a dorito!
- » Q: How is Saddam like Fred
Flintstone ?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
- » Doctor, Doctor I've got bad teeth,
foul breath and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and
Mouth disease!
- » The Laser Weapon
by Ray Gunn
- » One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him
what he
wanted him to do.
After God had briefed him on his
mission, the minister decided to ask
him a question.
"God,"
he said, "What is heaven like?"
God replied, "Well, normally I
don't tell people this, but since you
are my servant, I guess I
can tell you. Heaven will be like a city. It
will have the best of
everything. For example, the French will be the
chefs; the Italians
will be the lovers; the English will be the
policeman; the Germans
will be the mechanics; and the Dutch will be the
politicians!"
The man looked pleased. "What is hell like?" he
asked.
"Well," he said with a sigh, "the French will be the mechanics; the
Italians will be the politicians; the English will be the chefs; the
Germans will be the policemen; and the Dutch will be the lovers."
- » What do you get if you cross a constable with
a computer?
PC Plod.
- » Father Christmas:
What's your favourite
Christmas story?
Elf: The one about the ghost that steals
porridge!
Father Christmas: You mean 'Ghoul-di-locks'!
- » After the
fire-truck arrived at a
burning building in a small Spanish town, the
firemen observed a man
dressed in a matador's costume prancing around on
the roof. Four of
the firemen held a safety-net and urged him to escape
from the
burning building by jumping into the net. He refused and
loudly
proclaimed, "I'm Fearless Jose the bullfighter who fears nothing,
not even
fire."
The firemen begged and pleaded but to no avail. Jose kept
prancing
around while repeating the same phrase over and over until
the firemen got
really sick and tired of hearing it. Finally, when
the flames began to
scorch his butt, Jose announced he had changed
his mind, was ready to
jump and then leaped off the rooftop. As his
body hurtled toward the
safety-net, the four firemen shouted,
"Ole!" and quickly moved it
aside.
- » How did cows feel when the branding iron was
invented?
They were very impressed!
- » Q: Why do men float better than
women?
A:
Because they are scum.
- » What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?
A boar constrictor !
- » Dentist: Don't worry. I'm
painless.
Patient: I'm not.
- » Aching Joints
by Arthur Itis
- » A bus stops and this old lady gets off and
complains to the driver: I was sexually harassed, and the driver thinks
nothing of it; the bus comes to another stop and another old lady
gets off
and complains to the driver: I was sexually harassed and
the driver
thinks nothing of it, then the bus comes to another stop
and this old man
gets off and says to the driver "I lost my taupe
and thought I found it
twice then realized mine is parted down the
side, and the two I saw
were parted down the middle!"
- » "It's clear" said the teacher, "That you
haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad
says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it
settles down!"