Treść
Why do the hamburgers
beat the hot dogs at
every sport they play?
Because hot dogs are the wurst!
Losowe wpisy
- » Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a
butterfly
Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!
- » Abraham wanted a
new suit, so he bought a
nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a
tailor. The first
tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured
Abraham, then told
him the cloth was not enough to make a suit.
Abraham was unhappy
with this opinion and sought another tailor. This
tailor measured
Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and
said, "There
is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a
vest,
please come back in a week to take your suit."
After a week Abraham
came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor's
son wearing
trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just
how could you
make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when
the other
tailor could not make a suit only?"
"It's very simple," replied the
tailor, "The other tailor has two
sons."
- » A psychologist is at
a party talking
with a small group of people, when a man comes up
behind him and
taps him on the shoulder. The psychologist turns around and
the man
hauls off and decks him. The psychologist gets up, brushes
himself
off, turns to the group and declares: "That's his
problem."
- » What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a
pretty
girl?
I can't help it - she brings out the beast in
me!
- » Q: Where do blondes go to meet their
relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
- » Where can a burger get a great night's
sleep?
On a bed of lettuce!
- » Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A.
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the
time they don't work.
- » Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to
hurt you"?
A: "Trust me."
- » Where do cows like to live? St. Moo-is.
- » At one of the packed, Delta ticket counters
all of ticket
agents were
doing their best to politely process
each passenger as quickly as they
could. A man toward the end of the
snaking line of passengers was
obviously impatient and very
frustrated at having to wait so long in
the
slow moving line. He
finally decided to march right up to the counter
pulling his wheeled
suitcase and demanded that he be given his boarding
pass. The ticket
agent turned, looked at him, blinked, took a shallow,
deep breath
and said, "Sir, as you can see there are many passengers
ahead
of
you. We are doing our best to process the passengers as fast as we
can. I'm afraid you'll have to get back in line". Outraged and red
in the
face, the man yelled at the ticket agent saying, "Do you
know who I
am ???!!!." The ticket agent turned, looked at him,
blinked, took
another
shallow, deep breath, picked up the publi
c address system microphone
and
said calmly, "There is a man
at the Delta ticket counter who does not
know
who he is. Anyone
who may be able to identify this man is asked to
please
step
forward and identify him. Thank you".
- » There was a man who entered a local paper's pun
contest. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least
one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
- » A teacher was giving a lesson on the
circulation of the
blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now,
students, if I
stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run
into it, and I should
turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the
boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "'It's because yer feet ain't empty."
- » Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters
does
Hillary most resemble?
A: Jezebel and Lucretia Borgia.
- » What do you get if you cross a worm
and an
elephant ?
Very big worm holes in your garden !
- » What is a dog's favourite food ?
Anything that
is on your plate !