
Treść
A fellow was following a truck in heavy
traffic.
Every block or so, when
they were stopped at a stop light, the
driver of the truck would jump
out
of the cab with a big stick and
bang on the side of the cargo bay.
He'd
then jump back into
the cab in time to drive away when the signal
changed.
The first
fellow observed this for several miles, until he could stand
it
no longer. The next time the truck driver jumped out with the stick,
the
first fellow jumped out and ran up to him. "I'm sorry to
bother
you," he
said, over the din of the banging, "but I am very
curious; could you
tell
me what you are doing?" Without breaking
rhythm, the truck driver
replied,
"Sure, Mac. Ya see, this
here's a six-ton truck but I've got eight
tons of
canaries
aboard, so I've gotta keep two ton of them flying all the
time so
I don't break an axle".
Losowe wpisy
- » So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down
to
the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was
dipping
the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He
dropped the
bucket and hightailed it for
Gramma's kitchen. "Well
now, where's my bucket and where's my
water?" Gramma asked him.
"I can't get any water from that water hole,
Gramma" exclaimed
Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind
that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for
a few years now,
and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as
scared of you
as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if
he's as
scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to
drink!"
- » Why is the old, decrepit horse named
Flattery?
Because it gets you nowhere!
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Adeline
!
Adeline who ?
Adeline extra to the letter !
- » One of my husband's duties as a novice drill
instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the
mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat
them
down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall:
Shut up!
Eat up! Get up!"
Checking to see that he had
everyone's attention, he asked, "What is
the first rule?" Much to the
amusement of the other instructors, 60
privates yelled in unison,
"Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"
- » Yo mamma is so stupid she tried to commit
suicide by
jumping from the basement window.
- » A guy admired the hair of three girls.
He walked by one
and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair"
Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl
answered, "It's natural."
The guy walked by the second girl
and asked, "How'd you get such
pretty brown hair?"
Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural."
Finally the
guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get
such cool
green hair?"
Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose,
then skimming it
through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
- » Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot
finish bottom ?
Captain: Well, it could have been
worse.
Manager: How ?
Captain: There could have been more teams in the league
!
- » A
redneck calles up the White House and
tells the receptionist:
"I'd like to become the next President of
the United States."
The receptionist: "What are you, an
idiot?"
Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
- » Who said "Shiver me timbers!" on the ghost ship?
The skeleton crew.
- » What do you have in December that you don't
have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !
- » "Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the
owner asked the vet.
The vet replied, "You certainly will, and
you'll probably beat her
too!"
- » The Laser Weapon
by Ray Gunn
- » What is the difference between a horse and a
duck?
One goes quick and the other goes quack!
- » Two little boys were
visiting their
grandfather and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They
couldn't
make up their minds about what they wanted to eat.
Finally the
grandfather grinned at the server and said, "Just bring
them bread and
water."
One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have
ketchup on
it?"
- » How do you stop squirrels playing football in
the
garden?
Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!