
Treść
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad
in a lawsuit filed by
an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was
missing from the section
through which the railroad passed. The
rancher only wanted to be paid
the fair value of the bull.
The
case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in
the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the
railroad immediately cornered the rancher and
tried to get him to settle
out of court. The lawyer did his best selling
job, and finally the
rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the
rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young
lawyer
couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the
rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one
over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was
asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went thr
ough your
ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on
the stand. I
bluffed you!"
The old rancher replied, "Well,
I'll tell you, young feller, I was a
little worried about winning
that case myself, because that durned bull
came home this
morning."
Losowe wpisy
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A nun rolling down a hill.
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farm
with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields
were grown
over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the
fences were
broken down. During his first day of work, the town
preacher stops by to
bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God
work together to make
this the farm of your dreams!" A few months
later, the preacher stops
by again to call on the farmer. Lo and
behold, it's a completely
different place. The farm house is
completely rebuilt and in excellent
condition, there is plenty of cattle and
other livestock happily munching on
feed in well-fenced pens, and
the fields are filled with crops planted
in neat rows. "Amazing!"
the preacher says. "Look what God and you
have accomplished
together!" "Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but
remember what the farm was
like when God was working it alone!"
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and I keep needing to eat doctors.
Doctor: Oh what a
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priests were fishing on a boat when
they ran out of bait.
The first priest got up and walk across
the water to get some more
bait.
After 2 hours they ran out
of bait again and the second priest said he
would go get more
bait...so he got up and walk across the water.
After 3 hours of
fishing they ran out of bait again and the third
priest said he would
get more bait. So he stepped out of the boat and went
straight to the
bottom.
The first priest turned to the second priest and asked,
"Should we
have told him where the rocks were? "
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A: So
brunettes can remember them.
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He was going as a banana.
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A harenet.
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when the following took place.
"It's just too hot to wear
clothes today," complained Jack as he
stepped out of the shower.
"Honey, what do you think the neighbors would
think if I mowed the
lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money."
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discussion about
family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it
weren't for my
money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied,
"My dear, if
it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
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So he could charge
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laugh?
-They crack up
- » Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a
man driving very
erratically through the streets of Dublin. They
pulled the man over and asked
him if he had been drinking that
evening.
"Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads
stopped by
the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was
something
called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos
which are quite
good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to
drive me friend Mike
home and O' course I had to go in for a couple
of Guinness - couldn't
be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way
home to get another bottle
for later .." And the man fumbled around
in his coat until he located
his bottle of whiskey, which he held
up for inspection.
The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm
afraid I'll need you to step
out of the car and take a breathalyzer
test."
Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?
!"