Treść
"What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln,
and Christopher Columbus all
have in common? They were all born on
holidays."
Losowe wpisy
- » The politician was sitting at his campaign
headquarters
when the phone
rang. He listened intently, and
after a moment his face brightened.
When
he hung up, he immediately
phoned his mother to tell her the good
news. "Ma," he shouted, "the
results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?"
The
politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a
time
like this?"
- » Why do elephants eat raw food ?
Because
they don't know how to cook !
- » A woman called and said, "I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola
on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to
fly to
Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah,
whatever."
- » Patron: This bread
is stale.
Waiter: It
wasn't last week.
- » Pain and Sorry
by Anne Guish
- » What's the difference between a very
old, shaggy Yeti and a dead
bee?
One's a seedy beast and the
other's a deceased bee.
- » Cop: Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you
back there?
Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning,
Mr. Mayor."
Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast
through the next
town.
- » What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of
grapes
?
A swine gut !
- » What does the N on the Nebraska
football
helmet stand for?
"Nowledge."
- » Mother: Why was the phone busy all
night?
Babysitter: The fire department put me on hold.
- » Q: What's green and purple and goes up and
down?
A: Barney in an elevator.
- » A man
walks into an auto parts store
and says "I'd like a rear view mirror
for my Yugo."
The man
behind the counter thinks about this for a while, then says
"Yup,
seems like a fair trade to me."
- » Q. What did one tornado say to the
other?
A. "Let's twist again, like we did last summer...."
- » Q:
When does a brunette have 1/2 of a
brain?
A: After a dye job.
- » Q: Why don't you wear snow boots? A: Because
they'll
melt.