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What did General
Patton do on Thanksgiving?
He gave tanks.
Losowe wpisy
- » Fred: You've got a Roman nose.
Harry: Like
Julius Caesar?
Fred: No, it's roamin' all over your face.
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It
wants to keep it's Stockholm!
- » Q3: What did the female dinosaur call her
blouse making
business?
A: Try Sara's Tops
- » Customer: I thought the
meals here were
supposed to be like mother used to make.
Waiter: They are. She
couldn't cook either.
- » There is a new
Barbie doll on the
market - Eye Patch Barbie ...with a choice of eye patch
colors: purple,
hot pink, or aqua!
- » A woman got a problem with her closet door -
it was
felling every time a
bus was passing by. So she called a
repair man. The repairman comes and
sees that indeed, the door
falls out every time when a bus passes by.
"OK, I am gonna see what is
going on, just close the door behind me"
and
he stepps into the
closet. At that time the husband comes from work,
opens the closet
and finds the repairman.
Husband: "What the hell are you doing
here!"
Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am
waiting for
a
bus!"
- » What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?
A
dingo-ling !
- » During an army basic training, the lieutenant
took the
batch on a match and asked each of them where home was.
After everyone had
answered, he sneered and said "you are all wrong,
the army is now your
home".
Back at the barracks, he read the
evening duties, then asked the first
sergeant if he had anything to
say "you bet I do" the sergeant
replied, "men, while you were gone
today, I found beds improperly made,
clothes not hanging correctly,
shoes not shined and footlockers a mess.
Where do you think you
are? Home?
- » How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does
to take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. But he has to check it 100
times, one for each watt.
- » Which rabbit is a famous comedian?
Bob
Hop.
- » "Do you love me more than you love sleep?"
"I
can't answer now. It's time for my nap!"
- » What did the young witch say to her mother
?
Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !
- » Who did the ghost invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up.
- » Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask
jumped into the path
of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in
his ribs. "Give me your
money", he demanded.
Indignant, the
affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it - I'm a United
States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
- » Policeman: Why did
you stop your
car, get out, and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?
Motorist: The
light just turned yellow.