Treść
During a recent publicity outing, Hillary
sneaked off
to visit a
fortune teller of some local repute. In a
dark and hazy room,
peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered
grave news.
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be
blunt: Prepare
yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a
violent and
horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Hillary
stared at the woman's lined face, then at
the single flickering candle,
then down at her hands. She took a
few deep breaths to compose
herself. She simply had to know. She
met the fortune teller's gaze,
steadied her voice, and asked her
question:
"Will I be
acquitted?"
Losowe wpisy
- » What does a basketball player do before he
blows out his candles?
He makes a swish!
- » An 8th grade boy was doing some
research
for his career report at school. He asks his dad, "Father, how
many
wildlife biologists work for the Federal Government?"
"The
honest father replies, "Oh, I would say at least half of
'em."
- » Where do ghost trains stop?
At devil
crossings.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Alba
!
Alba !
Alba in the kitchen if you need me !
- » Tower: What's your heigth and
position?
Pilot: Well, I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.
- » My husband's business is rather up-and-down
-
he makes yo-yos.
- » What ghost is handy in the
kitchen?
A
recipe spook.
- » Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into
a lake?
To a weterinarian!
- » A Jewish guy called Jacob finds himself in
dire
trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious
financial
trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help.
He goes
into the synagogue and begins to pray
"God, please
help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some
money, I'm
going to lose my house as well, please let me win the
lotto".
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Jacob goes back
to the synagogue.
"God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost
my business, my house
and I'm going to lose my car as
well".
Lotto night comes and Jacob still has no luck!!
Back to the
synagogue.
"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my
business, my house,
my car and my wife and children are starving. I
don't often ask you
for help and I have always been a good servant to
you. Why won't you
just let me win the lotto this one time so
I can get my life back in
order???".
Suddenly there is a
blinding flash of light as the heavens open and
Jacob is confronted
by the voice of GOD himself:
"JACOB, MEET ME HALF WAY ON THIS ONE,
BUY A DAMN TICKET"
- » What kind of bird lays electric eggs ?
A
battery hen !
- » Why does someone who runs marathons make a good
student?
Because education pays off in the long run!
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later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife
asked.
"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a
heart attack
and died on the 10th tee."
"Oh, that's
awful!"
"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the
ball,
drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."
- » A drunk is refused a drink
in a bar, so he
undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober.
He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that
cat
coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I'd see
four!"
The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he
responds,
"You're drunker than I thought!", taking the rest of the
alcohol away,
"That cat isn't coming in, it's going out!"
- » Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a
circle?
A: A dope ring.
- » Did you hear about the ghost comedian?
He
was booed off stage.