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One night Bill Clinton was
awakened by
George Washington's ghost in the
White House. "George, what is the
best thing I could do to help the
country?" Clinton asked.
"Set an
honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George.
The
next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark
bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the
country?"
Clinton asked.
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government,"
advised Tom.
Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet
another figure
moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.
"Abe, what is
the
best thing I could do to help the country?"
Clinton asked.
Abe replied, "Go to the theater."
Losowe wpisy
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Armenia
!
Armenia who ?
Armenia every word I say !
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Argo
!
Argo who ?
Argo down to the beach for my holidays
- » The Best Day Ever
by Trudy Light
- » The strong young man at the construction site
was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He
made a
special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After
several
minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you
put your
money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's
wages that I
can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that
outbuilding that you
won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old
man," the braggart
replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man
reached out and grabbed
the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding
to the young man, he
said, "All right. Get in."
- » "Your teeth are
like the stars," he said, As
he pressed her hand, so white. He spoke the
truth, for, like the
stars, Her teeth came out at night!
- » Q: What did the hat
say to the necktie? A:
You go AHEAD I'll HANG AROUND!
- » "Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Fred
looking out of the kitchen
window.
"I know," said his
mother.
"I've just stepped in a poodle!"
- » Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables
on my desk?
Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.
- » Art Teacher: The picture of the horse is good,
but where is the wagon ?
Pupil: The horse will draw it !
- » When you catch your dog eating a dictionary, what
should you do?
Take the words right out of his mouth.
- » One of Microsoft's finest
technicans was
drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he
was given
some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots
at the
target. The report came from the target area that all attempts
had
completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his
rifle, and then at the target. He looked
at the rifle again, and then at
the target again. He put his finger over
the end of the rifle
barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other
hand. The end of his
finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the
target area,
"It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at
your end!"
- » What did the witch say to
the ugly toad?
I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!
- » What do naked fish play with ?
Bare-a-cudas !
- » What is a mosquito's favourite sport
?
Skin-diving !
- » What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers
!