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What happens when a cow stops shaving? It grows a Moostache.

Losowe wpisy

» Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside !
» I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and Home Pages. They say they're doing everything they can to keep their marriage together.
» An agriculture student said to a farmer: "Your methods are too old fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples." "I won't be surprised either," said the farmer, "this is an orange tree".
» A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No," says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
» Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
» What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ? 'Let us prey.'
» What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail!
» Who invented King Arthur's round table ? Sir Circumference !
» Telephone Problems by Ron Number
» I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
» WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" WIFE: "In the pool."
» Knock Knock Who's there ! Blair ! Blair who ? Blair play !
» A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded to issue new SOP directives (Standard Operating Procedures) that WOULD be followed under all circumstances. One of these directives was that NO ONE over the rank of Staff Sergeant would drive their own vehicle, that was what the lower enlisted were for. One morning, the Master Sergeant in charge of the S-2 shop of the battalion had an intel report that was due at Division Headquarters within the hour, and his clerk, a PFC, was off that morning because of duty the night before. The Sergeant felt that he had no choice, the report HAD to get to Division; so he got into his Jeep and started to Division Headquarters. As he got to the gate, the XO stopped him. In a very sarcastic voice he said, "Aren't we paying our drivers a lot these days?" The NCO, without missing a beat re plied, "Not at all, Sir, when you consider what we are paying gate guards."
» A French guy, an American guy and a Cuban guy are standing on a cliff. The French guy throws a case of fine wine off the cliff. ''Why did you do that?''asked the other men. ''We have plenty of fine wine in France,'' said the man. Next, the Cuban guy throws a box of fine cigars off the cliff. ''Why did you do that?'' asked the other men. ''We have plenty of cigars in Cuba,'' said the Cuban man. Finally, the American man pickes up the Cuban man and throw' him off the cliff. ''What did you do that for?'' asked the French man. ''We have plenty of Cubans in America,'' answered the American man.
» Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________." Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?" Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM." "Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's should er again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?" "You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."