Treść
She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter
is a very strong person who goes
round picking up shops.
Losowe wpisy
- » A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting
one
morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15
minutes!
Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!
Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
word with him.
[dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that
group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?
George:
Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost
their
sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let
them play for free anytime.
The group was silent for a moment.
Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them
tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist buddy
and see if there's anything he can do for
them.
Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
- » Did you hear about the depressed horse?
He
told a tale of whoa!
- » The young lad had applied for a job, and was
asked his full name.
"Aloysius Montmorency Geoghan," he replied.
"How do you spell that?" asked
the manager. "Er ? sir ? er ? can't
you just put it down without
spelling it?"
- » What do you call a pig with good table manners?
Sick.
- » Two, old drunks in a bar. The first one says,
"Ya know, when
I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with
either of my
hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10
degrees if I tried
really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend
it about 20 degrees, no
problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and
now I can almost bend it in
half with just one hand" "So, "says the
second drunk, "what's your
point" "Well, "says the first, "I'm
just wondering how much
stronger I'm gonna get!"
- » Q. What makes a man think about a candlelight
dinner?
A. A power failure.
- » The policeman arrived at
the scene of an
accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole.
Searching
for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in
work
clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness.
"Exactly where were you at
the time of the accident?" inquired the
officer.
"Mister,"
exclaimed the telephone lineman, "I was at the top of the
pole!"
- » A vampire bat came flapping in from a
night of foraging, covered in
fresh blood. He parked himself on the
cave's roof to get some sleep.
Soon all the other bats smelled the
blood and began hassling him about
where he got it. He told them to
shut up and let him get some sleep, but
they persisted until he
finally gave in. "OK, follow me." He flew out
of the cave with
hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley
they went, across a
river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed
down and all the
other bats excitedly milled around him. "Do you see
that tree over
there?" "YES, YES, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a
frenzy. "Well I
didn't!"
- » Why do wallets make so much noise?
Because
money talks.
- » How do mice celebrate when they move home ?
With a mouse warming party !
- » When do burgers quit their jobs?
The day
they decide to meat LOAF!
- » What does the bee Santa Claus say ?
Ho hum
hum !
- » Teacher: Shall I put the school computer
on?
Pupil: No, Miss, the dress you're wearing looks fine.
- » What happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule
be happy !
- » How do you
make an apple puff?
Chase it
round the garden