
Treść
A photographer for a national
magazine
was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at
the
scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called
his
home office to hire a plane.
"It will be waiting for you at the
airport!" he was assured by his
editor. As soon as he got to the small,
rural airport, sure enough, a
plane was warming up near the runway.
He jumped in with his equipment and
yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!"
The pilot swung the plane into the
wind and soon they were in the
air.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the
photographer, "and
make three or four low level passes."
"Why?" asked the
pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and
photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great
exasperation.
After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not
the
instructor?"
Losowe wpisy
- » A blonde got lost in her car in a snow
storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get
stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty
soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed
the
plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally the driver of
the snow plow got out and asked her what she was
doing. She
explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in
the snow, to
follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm
done with
the Wal-Mart lot, now you can follow me over to
K-Mart..."
- » Why is the sky not happy on clear
days?
It has the blues
- » What do you call a snake who works for the
governement ?
A civil serpent !
- » When do clocks die?
When their time is up.
- » Which is the most dangerous animal in
the
Northern Hemisphere?
Yak the Ripper
- » A US
Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal
alien in the bushes right by the
border fence, he pulls him out and
says "Sorry, you know the law, you've
got to go back across the
border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo
Senior, I must stay in de
USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol
Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard
for him and says
"Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words
in a
sentence".
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol
Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and
Yellow. Now use
them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for
about 2 minutes, then says,
"Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green,
Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez
Yellow?"
- » Q1: What vehicle does
T-Rex use to go
from planet to planet?
A: A Dinosaucer
- » Recently, a distraught wife went to the local
police station, along with
her next-door neighbor, to report that
her husband was missing. The
policeman asked for a description of the
missing man.
The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot
4-inches, has dark eyes,
dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185
pounds, is soft-spoken, and
is good to the children."
The
next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches,
chubby,
bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children."
The wife
replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
- » Yo mama so fat when she gets on the
scale
it says we don't do livestock.
- » Peek-a-Boo! by
I. C. Hugh
- » Three men die and go to heaven and
queue to meet St. Peter.
St. Peter: Hi, what's your
name?
Paul: My name is Paul.
St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you
died, how much were you earning?
Paul: 120K.
St. Peter:
Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of
money?
Paul: I was a lawyer.
St. Peter: That's great. Come on
in. St. Peter then turned to the
second man. Hi, what's your
name?
Roger: My name is Roger.
St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me,
when you died, how much were you
earning?
Roger:
60K.
St. Peter: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a
living?
Roger: I was an accountant.
St. Peter: That's
very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the
second man. Hi,
what's your name?
John: My name is John.
St. Peter: Hi,
John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you
died
?
John: About $23,000.
St. Peter: Hey, that's
fantastic, John! Tell me, what instrument did
you play?
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Alan
!
Alan who ?
Alan a good cause !
- » Yo mama head so big she has to step into her
shirts.
- » Why do elephants eat raw food ?
Because
they don't know how to cook !
- » What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a
prisoner ?
A Kong - vict !