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What is the difference between a dancer and a duck? One goes quick on her beautiful legs, the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.

Losowe wpisy

» What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ? An elephant disguised as a banana !
» A group of senior citizens were exchanging notes about their ailments. "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive."
» Knock Knock Who's there ! Ben ! Ben who ? Ben knocking on this door all morning !
» Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
» Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
» A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave."
» A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked. "I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!"
» Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.
» Knock Knock Who's there ! Crete ! Crete who ? Crete to see you again !
» The Punished Schoolboy by Major Bumsaw
» If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills?
» Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it, dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.
» A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available. Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep on the lounge and you have the bed. Nun: I think that would be okay. They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm terribly cold. Priest: Okay, I'll get you a blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket. (He does) Ten minutes later... Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we acted as man and wif e just for this one night. Priest: You're probably right...get up and get your own blanket.
» Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons.
» What part of a football pitch smells nicest ? The scenter spot !