Treść
Who is tall, dark and a great dancer ?
Dark
Raver !
Losowe wpisy
- » Why do women have
smaller
feet than men?
- It allows them to stand closer to the sink.
- » Patient: Doctor,
what should I do
if my temperature goes up five more points?
Doctor: Sell!
- » One day, two guys were driving
to a
local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the store they
ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed
red.
The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked
at the driver and screamed, "What the heck are you doing? You're
going to get us killed!"
Then the driver responded, "Don't
worry, my mother allways drives
like this."
So later on, the
two guys came to another stoplight and that too was
red. The driver
sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked
at the
driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us
killed!
Would you please stop this nonsense!"
The driver looked at the
passenger and responded, "I get it! But like
I told already, you my
mother drives like this all the time!"
Again, the two guys ran
into another light. This time in was green. The
driver slammed
on his brakes and stopped the car completely. "What the
hell are
you doing?" The passenger screamed. "This is the third time
you
almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?"
The
driver replied, "That's my mom's car coming over there!"
- » A man was speeding down a Alabama highway,
feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed.
However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared
speed
detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him
the citation, received his signature and was
about to walk away when
the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding,
but I don't think
it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around
me who were
going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"
"Ever go a
fishin'?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.
"Ummm, yeah..." the
startled man replied.
The officer grinned and added, "Did you
ever catch 'em all?"
- » How did the fish's tail get stuck in
the
anchor chain?
It was just a fluke!
- » What do you call a vampire
after it is
one-year-old?
A two-year-old vampire.
- » You're a big internet fan, arn't
you?
Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!
- » How do stones
stop moths eating your
clothes ?
Because rolling stones gather no moths !
- » A Congressman was once asked
about his attitude toward whiskey. "If
you mean the demon drink
that poisons the mind, pollutes the body,
desecrates family life, and
inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the
elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against
winter chill, the taxable
potion that puts needed funds into public coffers
to comfort little
crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my
position, and I
will not compromise."
- » What did the slug say as he slipped
down the window very fast?
How slime flies!
- » What does an accountant say when
you ask
him the time?
It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait - 13 seconds, no
wait - 14
seconds, no wait......
- » Seriously, when the crooked
hamburger took
it on the 1am, where did it go?
Heidelburg-er, Germany!
- » Three guys are
drinking in a bar when a
drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and
points at the guy in the
middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex
in town!"
Everyone expects
a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders
off
and
bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk
comes back,
points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom,
and it was
sw-e-et!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and
the drunk goes back to the
far end
of the bar. Ten minutes
later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom
liked it!"
Finally the
guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"
- » Mother: How do you
like your new teacher
?
Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and
then
she didn't give me one !
- » "Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?"
asked Rupert.
"Okay," replied his father, "but don't stand too
close."