
Treść
When a visitor to a small town in Georgia
came upon a wild dog
attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the
animal and throttled it with
his two hands.
A reporter saw the
incident, congratulated the man and told him the
headline the
following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by
Killing
Vicious Animal."
The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from
that town.
"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will
probably say,
'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing
Dog'."
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case,"
the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should
read, 'Yankee
Kills Family Pet'."
Losowe wpisy
- » Julie: What time is it?
Counsellor: Three
o'clock.
Julie: Oh,no!
Counsellor: What's the matter?
Julie:
I've been asking the time all day. And everybody gives me a
different
answer!
- » Roger was sitting in a very full bus when a fat
woman opposite said, "If you were a gentleman, young man, you'd
stand
up and let someone else sit down." "And if you were a lady,"
replied
Roger, "you'd stand up and let four people sit down."
- » Lee was known among his friends for the
punctuality with which he sent
his wife her alimony payment each
month. When he was asked the reason
for his haste he shivered and
replied: "I'm afraid that if I should
ever fall behind in the payments to
that witch, she might well try to
repossess me."
- » A little girl was playing in the garden when
she
spied two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two
spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a daddy long legs," her father answered.
"So, the
other one is a mommy long legs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her
father replied. "Both of them are daddy long legs."
The little
girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped
them
flat.
"Well, we're not having any of THAT in our garden."
- » What did the man put on his car when
the weather was cold?
An extra muffler.
- » Who is a bee's favourite painter ?
Pablo
Beecasso !
- » What do you call an aardvark that's been
thrown out of a
pub?
A barredvark!
- » Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You
ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Beth
!
Beth who ?
Beth wisheth, thweetie !
- » Knowing that the minister was very fond of
cherry brandy, one of the
church elders offered to present him with
a bottle on one consideration
-
that the pastor acknowledge
receipt of the gift in the church paper.
"Gladly," responded the
good man.
When the church magazine came out a few days later,
the elder turned at
once to the "appreciation" column. There he read:
"The minister
extends
his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of
fruit and for the spirit in
which it was given."
- » A man went in to the bank and asked to see the
man who arranged the loans.
'I'm sorry, sir,' said a
cashier, 'the loan arranger is out to
lunch.'
'Can I speak
to Tonto, then?' asked the man.
- » Q: What is Clinton's plan to create thousands
of small businesses?
A: Take thousands of big businesses and
wait four years.
- » A 90 year man
finally gets to see a Dr. and
the dr. asks him what the problem is, the
man says he wants the Dr.
to lower his sex drive. The Dr. is taken
aback a bit but finally
asks the man, just how old are you? The man answers
I am 90. The Dr.,
still a little confused says you are 90, and you want
your sex
drive lowered? Yes said the man, it's all in my head and I
want you to
lower it.
- » A man went to see his doctor because
he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some
pills, but they didn't help.
On his next visit the doctor
gave him a shot, but that didn't do any
good.
On his third
visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot
bath. As soon
as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand
in the
draft."
"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll
get
pneumonia."
"I know," said the doctor, "I can cure
pneumonia."
- » In what school
subjects does the teacher
say, 'Well done, hamburgers'?
A wide range of subjects - meatyeval,
history, meatematics and word
grill.