Treść
Q. What do you call a line
dancer on a
cruise?
A. An Ocean "Liner"
Losowe wpisy
- » Would you like to buy a second-hand
computer?
I'm afraid not. I'm only able to type with one hand as it is.
- » What game did the dentist play
when she
was a child?...Caps and robbers
- » The drunk was
floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into
a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"
"A
mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how drunk I can get.
When I get drunk I see snakes,
and I'm scared to death of snakes.
That's why I got this mongoose, for
protection."
"But,"
the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of
the
box, "So is the mongoose."
- » How can you tell the pig
is a failure as
Easter bunny?
By the egg on its face.
- » A college student was in a
philosophy
class which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor
presented the following logic:
"Has anyone in this class heard God?"
Nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again,
nobody spoke.
"Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody
spoke for the third
time, he simply stated, "Then there is no
God."
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to
reply. Curious to hear this bold student's response, the professor
granted
it, and the student stood up and asked the following
questions of his
classmates:
"Has anyone in this class heard our
professor's brain?" Silence.
"Has anyone in this class touched
our professor's brain?" Silence.
"Has anyone in this class seen
our professor's brain?"
When nobody in the class dared to
speak, the student concluded, "Then,
according to our professor'
s logic, it must be true that our professor
has no
brain!"
You can't argue with that!
- » What is the vampire's
favorite slogan?
Please Give Blood Generously.
- » Two anthropologists fly
to the
south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent
islands and set to work. A few months later one of them takes a canoe
over to the other island to see how his colleague is doing. When he
gets
there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a group
of
natives.
"Greetings! How is it going?" says the visiting
anthropologist.
"Wonderful!" says the other, "I have discovered
an important fact
about the local language! Watch!"
He points
at a palm tree and says, "what is that?"
The natives, in unison, say
"Umbalo-gong!"
He then points at a rock and says, "and that?"
The
natives again intone "Umbalo-gong!"
"You see!", says the beaming
anthropologist, "They use the SAME word
for 'rock' and for 'palm
tree'!"
"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished visiting
anthropologist,
"On the other island, the same word means 'ind
ex finger'!"
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Boise
!
Boise who ?
Boise ivy !
- » Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.
- » Q: How can you steal the window seat of a
blonde
on a plane going to London?
A: Tell her the seats that are
going to London are all in the middle
row.
- » What's the
difference between a lawyer and
an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.
- » Who won the race between two balls of
string?
They we're tied!
- » Pardon me for a moment,
please," said the
dentist to the victim, "but before beginning this
work I must have
my drill."
"Good heavens, man!" exclaimed the patient irritably.
"Can't you
pull a tooth without a rehearsal?"
- » What's Christmas called in England
?
Yule Britannia !
- » How do you scare a man?
Sneak up behind
him and start throwing rice.