Treść
The defendant
stood up in the dock and said
to the judge, "I dont recognize this
court!"
"Why?" asked the
Judge.
"Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was
here."
Losowe wpisy
- » Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting.
Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How
come?
The hunters were a man, his son and his grandson.
- » Q: Did you hear about the
Mexico City
earthquake?
A: It did $100 million worth of improvements.
- » A man comes in to the room
and
says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on."
The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity replies,
"Does that mean that you are taking me with you, darling?"
The husband replies, "No - I'm turning the heating off.
- » Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get
bored?
A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get
stoned.
- » Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the
time, caddy. It's
distracting!"
Caddy: "This isn't a watch,
sir, its a compass!"
- » What happened when the cannibal bit off a
missionary's ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!
- » What has 50 legs but cant walk ?
Half a
centipede !
- » Who writes all his plays on the
Internet?
Will-e. Shakespeare.
- » Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first
week at spring
training?
A: Studying their Miranda Rights.
- » Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
By mistake he
plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept
popping out
of bed all night!
- » Comments made
by Programmers when their
programs don't work:
Strange...
I've never heard about that.
It did work yesterday.
Well, the program needs some fixing.
How is this possible?
The machine seems to be broken.
Has the
operating system been updated?
The user has made an error again.
There is something wrong in your test data.
I have not touched that
module!
Yes yes, it will be ready in time.
You must have the
wrong executable.
Oh, it's just a feature.
I'm almost ready.
Of course, I just have to do these small fixes.
It will be done
in no time at all.
It's just some unlucky coincidence.
I can't
test everything!
THIS can't do THAT.
Didn't I fix it already?
It's already there, but it has not been tested.
It works, but
it's not been tested.
Somebody must have changed my code.
There must be a virus in the application software.
Even though i
t does not work, how does it feel?
How come you didn't find it
during the system testing?
It's a setup problem.
And the
Ultimate:
A smart user would never do that!
- » How do rain drops marry?
-They
coalesce
- » Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying
to call the zoo for
hours!
Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were
busy!
- » While cruising at 40,000
feet, the
airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window.
"Good lord!" he
screamed, "one of the engines just blew up!"
Other passengers
left their seats and came running over; suddenly the
aircraft was
rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on
the other
side.
The passengers were in a panic now, and even the
stewardesses couldn't
maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling
confidently, the
pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone
that there was
nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor
seemed made most of the
passengers feel better, and they sat down as
the pilot calmly walked to
the door of the aircraft. There, he
grabbed several packages from under
the seatsand began handing them to
the flight attendants. Each crew
member attatched the package to
their backs.
"Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't tho
se parachutes?"
The pilot said they were.
The passenger
went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to
worry
about?"
"There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded.
"We're going to get help."
- » Where do bad pigs go?
They get sent to the
pen.