
Treść
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced
the opposing lawyers.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by
both of you, with a
bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You,
attorney Leon, gave me
$15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me
$10,000."
The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a
check. He handed it
to Leon ... "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and
we're going to
decide this case solely on its merits."
Losowe wpisy
- » Which is the favourite Gorilla proverb?
A
fiend in need is a fiend indeed!
- » Why do dogs wag their
tails ?
"Because no
one else will do it for them !"
- » A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of
intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the
intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was
at
fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been
blind since birth, and thus
should be given additional leeway, the
rabbit said that he, too, had been
blind since birth. The two
animals then forgot about the collision and
began commiserating
concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his
greatest regret was the loss of his identity.
He had never been able to
see his reflection in the water, and for that
reason did not know
exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The rabbit declared
that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they
could help
each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from
hea
d to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit.
After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur,
long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I
think that
you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much
relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to
return the favor to
the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a
few minutes,
he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've
got beady
little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've
got a
forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
- » Yo mama
so fat when God said, "Let there
be light" he he to ask her to move
out of the way.
- » "Where's the car?" asked Professor
Delbert's wife when he got home.
"Did I take it out?"
"Yes, you drove it to school this morning."
"I suppose you're
right, my dear. I remember now that after I got
out, I turned to
thank the man who gave me a lift and wondered where he'd
gone."
- » Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Cows
!
Cows who ?
Cows go 'moo' not who !
- » Do you like your
new baby sister?
She's
all right.
Do you play with her?
No, and we can't even send
her back because she's been here more than
28 days.
- » What's brown and furry on the inside and
clear on the
outside?
King Kong in clingfilm
- » At night court, a man was brought in and set
before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and
the charge."
The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician,
charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put
this man in a dry
cell!"
- » In olden times, it is reported that
sacrifices
were made at the altar.
Since then, weddings have been
held there, and times haven't changed
at all!
- » How many skunks do you need to make a
house
really smelly?
Just a phew!
- » A man climbed over a fence into a
field to pick
some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer. Is that bull
safe?
Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!
- » What do you get if you cross a grizzly
bear and a harp ?
A bear faced lyre !
- » Why does an inspiring sight like a
sunrise always have to
take place at such an inconvenient time?
- » A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with
his family. Suddenly,
he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and
fainted.
"Darling, it was just a shark," said his wife when he
came to.
"You've got to stop imagining that there are lawyers
everywhere."