Treść
A monster and a zombie went into a
funeral home. 'I'd like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who
has
just died,' said the monster.
'Certainly ma'am,' said the
undertaker, 'but there was really no
need to bring her with
you.'
Losowe wpisy
- » What did the mother snake say to her
crying
baby ?
Stop crying and viper your nose !
- » Fred: I met a really
conceited actor
the other day.
Harry: Why do you say he's conceited?
Fred: Well,
every time there was a thunderclap during the storm, he
went to the
window and took a bow.
- » "Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your
wings.."
"OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!"
- » Why can't
anyone stay angry long
with an actress?
Because she always makes up.
- » Why did the janitor take early retirement?
Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.
- » What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four
elephants walking over the
hill towards him wearing
sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them!
- » Waiter,
there is a fly in my soup !
Yes
sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor
!
- » What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on?
A bare hare.
- » Q: What's green and purple and goes up and
down?
A: Barney in an elevator.
- » Which England player keeps up the fuel supply
?
Paul gas coin !
- » Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one
class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a
"tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers "If my best
friend who lives next
door was playing in the street when a car came
along and killed him,
that would be a tragedy."
"No," Clinton
says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her
hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove
off a cliff,
killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid
not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a
GREAT
LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who
can give me an
example of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy
in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
"If an
airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a
bomb, T
HAT would be tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous!
And can you tell me WHY that
would be a tragedy?"
"Well,"
says the boy, "because it couldn't be an accident, and it
certainly
would be no great loss!"
- » Coleman
moved to Wyoming and was sitting in
the unemployment office applying for a
job. "Have you any
experience in coal mining?" asked the clerk.
"Yeah, in Pennsylvania," he
replied. "They're using that new safety lamp
down there now, aren't
they?" "Ah don't know, mister," said
Coleman. "I worked on the day
shift."
- » Witch l: "How do you manage to stay in shape?"
Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."
- » Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing
has improved.
Pupil: Thank you
Teacher: Now I can see how bad
your spelling is though !
- » Question: What's the difference between sin and
shame?
Answer: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to
pull it
out.