Treść
What does a dentist do on a
roller
coaster?...He braces himself
Losowe wpisy
- » A local priest and pastor stood by the side
of
the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn
yourself
around now before it's too late!"
They planned to
hold up the sign to each passing car.
"Leave us alone you
religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he
sped by.
From around
the curve they heard a big splash. "Do you think," said
one clergy
to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says
'bridge
out' instead?"
- » What do ghosts like about riding horses?
Ghoulloping.
- » After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the
long lines, surly clerks, and
insane regulations at the
department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a
toy store to pick up a gift for
my son. I brought my selection - a
baseball bat - to the cash
register. "Cash or charge?" the clerk
asked.
"Cash," I snapped.
Then, apologizing for my rudeness, I explained,
"I've spent the
afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau."
"Shall I giftwrap the bat?"
the clerk asked sweetly. "Or are you
going
back there?"
- » Two guys were walking along a road in Georgia
when they were struck by a
police car driven by a drunken
cop.
One guy was thrown through the windshield and his buddy was knocked
down an embankment.
The first guy was charged with breaking
and entering and the second
with leaving the scene of an
accident.
- » What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot
?
A carrot !
- » Another flight
Attendant's comment on a
less than perfect landing: "We ask you to
please remain seated as
Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Clinton
!
Clinton who ?
Clinton your eye !
- » SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three
candles for your party?
PIGLET: I'd rather have three cakes and one
candle.
- » Why did the banana go out with the prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
- » Why don't Jewish
mothers
drink?
Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
- » Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and
the doctor was able to have him fitted for a
set of hearing aids that
allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went
back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
said, "Your hearing is
perfect. Your family must be really pleased
that you can hear
again."
To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family
yet. I
just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've
changed my will
three times!"
- » The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant
recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket
approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?"
"Go
down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you
see
the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on
in."
- » What is Dracula's favorite
fruit?
Neck-tarines.
- » Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill
Clinton wishes he did?
A: A dead girlfriend.
- » Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying
to call the zoo for
hours!
Zookeeper: Yes, all our lions were
busy!