Treść
"Did you get
your money?" ask the wife of
the dentist who had just return from the
delinquent patient's
home.
"Not a cent," growled the dentist, "and worse than that, he
insulted
me, and gnashed my teeth at me!"
Losowe wpisy
- » Did you hear about the idiot
who
invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?
- » What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?
A boar constrictor !
- » Q. What does CHAOS stand
for?
A.
The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
- » What do you feed a 600 pound
Gorilla?
Anything it wants!
- » There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
T2 Barbie ...a study in
silver
- » yo mama so fat when she get on da elevator it
says next stop hell
- » And Jesus said unto his disciples,
"Whom
do men say
that I am?"
And His disciples answered unto Him,
"Master,
thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation
of
omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute,
divine,
sacerdotal monarch."
And Jesus said, "What?"
- » The
Economic Breakfast by Roland
Marge
- » How can you make a basset hound fast?
Take
away its food!
- » Three college football coaches were
flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three
died.
They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God
motioned
for one of them to come into the clouds.
God
wanted to know three things: "Who are you? What did you do? What
did
people think of you?"
The first coach said, "I'm Joe Paterno. I
coached Penn State from
1966 to 2000. I won 300 games, 19 bowl
victories, 2 national
championships, and won Coach of the Year 4 times.
The people of Pennsylvania think
I'm great."
God said,
"Fine, Joe, stand at my right side."
The next person said, "I'm
Bobby Bowden. I coached Florida State
University from 1980 to 2000.
I had a .816 win percentage, played in 14
bowl games without a loss
and won a national championship after beating
Nebraska. The people
of Florida think I'm great."
God said, "Fine, Bobby, stan
d at my left side."
The third coach stood before God and said,
"I'm Bob Stoops. I took
over a storied Oklahoma program that had
won 6 national championships and
held many NCAA records but had
fallen to the lowest of the low. In the
3 years prior to me taking over
the Sooners they went 3-8 (worst season
in 102 years of football),
4-8, and 5-6, beating Texas only once and
not beating Colorado or
Nebraska, not to mention losing to OSU. I coached
the Sooners for a
season and a half, going 7-5 in my first year beating
a top-15
Texas A&M with my unranked team and taking the Sooners to a
bowl game.
7 games into my second season we were undefeated and I took
the
Sooners to #1 in the AP poll, Coaches poll, and BCS poll. We beat #10
Texas 63-14, #2 Kansas State in Manhattan 41-31, and #1 Nebraska 31-14.
Our quarterback was the frontrunner for the Heisman trophy, we were
in
the driver's seat for the national championship, and th
e people of
Oklahoma think you are sitting in my chair."
- » Why did the piglets get in trouble in
their
biology class?
They ate all the specimens.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Carrie
!
Carrie who ?
Carrie on camping !
- » Which song title makes an Ape
heartsick?
Gorilla My Dreams!
- » A
serious drunk walked
into a bar and, after staring for some time at the
only woman seated
at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She
jumped up and
slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained,
"I'm
sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she
screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
- » Why is 4,840 square
yards like a bad tooth
?
Because it is an acre.