Treść
What's red on the
outside and green on
the inside?
A dinosaur wearing red pajamas.
Losowe wpisy
- » Jesus and Moses
are sitting in a boat
fishing and Jesus says to Moses "I
want to do a miracle so we can
feel like the good old days." and Moses
says "Yeah sure." So Jesus
gets up and says "I think I'll walk on
the
water, that was always
a good one." So Jesus walks over to the edge of
the
boat, steps
into the water, and sinks like a stone. Moses drags Jesus
back
into the boat and revives him. Moses then says "What's the problem?"
and
Jesus says, "I think its the holes in my feet!"
- » Where did the
Gorilla play baseball?
In
the bush leagues,of course!
- » Yo
mama is so fat...that she makes
Godzilla look like an action figure
- » What do you get if you cross a steer and a
chicken?
Roost beef!
- » It seems that a devout, good couple was about
to get married,
but a tragic car accident ended their lives. When
they got to
heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for
them to
get married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in
life,
and they still desired wedded union. He thought about it
and
agreed, but said they would have to wait.
It was almost one hundred
years later when St. Peter sent for
them. They were married in a
simple ceremony. So things went
on, for thirty years or so, but they
determined, in this time,
that eternity was best not spent together.
They went back to
St. Peter, and said: "We thought we would be happy
forever, but
now we believe that we have irreconcilable differences.
Is there
any way we can get divorced?" "Are you kidding?" said St.
Peter.
"It took me a hundred years to get a priest up here to
marry
you. I will never get a lawyer!"
- » When
toasting the holidays, Republicans
ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "Bud."
- » How do spacemen pass the time on long
trips
?
They play astronauts and crosses !
- » The drunk was
floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into
a friend who asked, "What do you have in there, pal?"
"A
mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how drunk I can get.
When I get drunk I see snakes,
and I'm scared to death of snakes.
That's why I got this mongoose, for
protection."
"But,"
the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of
the
box, "So is the mongoose."
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Arnold
!
Arnold who ?
Arnold friend of yours is a friend of mine !
- » Q: How many bikers does it take
to change
a light bulb?
A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the
other to kick the
switch.
- » A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool
on the aviation frequencies.
This was his first time
approaching a field during the nighttime, and
instead of making any
official requests to the tower, he said, "Guess
who?"
The
controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess
where!"
- » What did one
keyboard say to the other
keyboard?
Sorry, you're not my type.
- » An old
man visits his doctor and after
thorough examination the doctor tells
him: "I have good news and bad
news, what would you like to hear
first?"
Patient: "Well, give
me the bad news first."
Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate
that you have about two years
left."
Patient: "OH NO! That's
awefull! In two years my life will be over!
What kind of good news
could you probably tell me, after this???"
Doctor: "You also have
Alzheimer's. In about three months you are
going to forget
everything I told you."
- » A waiter brings the
customer the steak he
ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the
customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You
want it to fall on the floor
again?"
- » Yo mama so dark she went to night school and
was marked
absent!