
Treść
Two elderly Southern women are
sitting on
the veranda sipping lemonade and
reminiscing about old times.
One
says to the other, "Darling, do you remember the minuet?"
The other
replies, "Sweetheart, I can't even remember the ones I
screwed!"
Losowe wpisy
- » One day the bass player hid one of the
drummer's sticks.
The drummer said, "finally! After being a drummer for
so long,
now I am a conductor!"
- » What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
- » Professor: I forgot to take
my umbrella
this morning.
Wife: When did you first miss it, dear?
Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had
stopped.
- » One day a lady was driving on the
Highway.
She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed
within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror,
much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make
matters worse, the police car turned on his flashing lights. She
thought
to herself, "Uh-oh, what have I done now? I'm not speeding.
I'm not
drinking. I have my seat belt on! I have kept up my license
dues and
everything!"
So, she pulled over and the police car
pulled over to the side right
behind her car. She drove her car
slowly to a stop, slowly rolled down
the window, and prepared for a
ticket when she knew she didn't deserve
it. A policeman walked up to
her window, and spoke to her. The lady
pointed to her ear and shook
her head, meaning she was deaf. The policeman
smiled slightly, and
knowing sign language, signed back, "I know. I'm
here to
tell you that your horn is stuck."
- » Mrs Jones: Now, remember, children,
travel is very
good for you. It broadens the mind.
Betty,
muttering: If you're anything to go by, that's not all it
broadens!
- » Jay:
Does the Bible say that if
you smoke you can't get to
heaven?
Ted: No, but the more you smoke
the quicker you'll get there.
- » Which rabbit was in Western movies?
Hopalong Cassidy.
- » A little kid is sitting on a park bench
eating
abag of chocolates an old man walking by stops to say that if he
continues to eat like that he won`t live very long; indignantly the
kid says
" oh yeah my grandfather lived to be 104 years old" the
old man
replies "i'm sure he did kid.but it wasn`t from eating all
that chocolate
"oh no sir" says the kid, it was by minding his own
business !
- » Barber: And how
old are you, little
man?
Fred: Eight.
Barber: And do you want a haircut?
Fred:
Well, I certainly didn't come in for a shave!
- » Yo Mama is so fat...when she took her shirt
off at the
strip club,everyone thought she was Jabba The Hut
from Star Wars
- » They now have an Italian airline that flies out
of Genoa.
It's called Genitalia.
- » What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his
head in the fan?
It took ears off his life!
- » Are birth
control pills deductible?
Only
if they don't work.
- » "The auditors have just left,
sir."
"Did they check the books?"
"Very thoroughly."
"What
did they say?"
"They want 15% to keep quiet."
- » If a fly has no wings
would you call
him a walk?