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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Losowe wpisy

» Knock Knock Who's there ! Bully ! Bully who ? Bully Jean is not my lover !
» Q: What is a Budget? A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.
» Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn't have time to finish it.
» Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth
» A man is fibbing away about how great things are in his country. Finally, he starts describing the tall buildings in his country. "There is a building so tall, it took my friend Alex 72 hours to fall off it!" "Oh, my God!" says his friend. "Surely he must have died!" "Of course. He was without food or water for 3 days!"
» As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball. "Is this yours" he asked "Did it do any damage" asked one of the boys "No" replied the minister "Then it's mine !"
» Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.
» Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket? Because the label said General Foods.
» Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
» What should you say to a pig on roller skates? Don't say anything. Just get out of the way.
» How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.
» A husband and wife entered the dentist's office. The husband said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible." "You're a brave man," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is." The husband turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
» What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once ? I'm on the horns of a dilemma here !
» How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics ?
» There was a farmer who had a herd of pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the farmer: "What do you use to feed your pigs?" "Well, I give them acorn, corn, and things like that. Why?" "Because I am from the Animals Protection Association and I think you don't feed them like you should, they shouldn't eat wastes." Then he fined the farmer. Some days later, another person arrived and asked the same question. The farmer answered: "Well, I feed them very well. I give them salmon, caviar, shrimp, steak...why?" "Because I am from the United Nations Organization and I think it's unfair that you feed your pigs like that when there are people dying with nothing to eat." And he fined the farmer. Finally, another man came in and asked just the same question. The hesitant farmer answered after a few minutes: "Well, I give five dollars to each pig so they can buy whatever they want."