
Treść
Men are
like placemats.
They only show
up when there's food on the table.
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: What was the most flexiest dinosaur?
A:
Tyrannosaurus Flex.
- » How many doctors does it take to
change a light bulb?
Only one, but he has to have a nurse to tell him
which end to screw
in.
- » Why did the cat sleep under the
car
?
Because she wanted to wake up oily !
- » What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
A croaker spaniel !
- » Policeman: Why were you
asleep at
the wheel?
Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.
- » How do we know the Indians were the first
people in North America?
They had reservations.
- » A naughty child was
irritating all the
passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last
one man
could stand it no longer. "Hey kid," he shouted. "Why don't
you go
outside and play?"
- » A priest and a
rabbi operated a church
and a synagogue
across the street from each other. Since their
schedules
intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.
So
they did. They drove it home and parked it in the
street between
their establishments.
A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out
and saw the
priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't
need
a wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he was
doing.
"I'm blessing it" the priest replied.
The rabbi replied "Oh," then
he ran back into the synagogue.
He reappeared a few minutes later
with a hack saw, ran to the
car and cut off the last 2 inches of the
tailpipe.
- » Why do polo bears like bald men ?
Because they have a great, white, bear place !
- » The monster spent a fortune
on deodorants
before he found out that people didn't like him
anyway.
- » One morning this blonde calls her friend and
says, "Would you mind
coming over and helping me out with this killer
jigsaw puzzle I bought --
I can't figure out how to get
started."
Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?"
"From the
picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the
blonde.
The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the
front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the
table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box.
Then, he
turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I
do, I'm not
going to be able to show you how to assemble these to
look like the
picture of the tiger on the box."
"Why not?"
asks the disappointed blonde.
"Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw
puzzle... what you have here is a
box of Frosted Flakes."
- » Elf: My favourite film is about the man who
casts spells in the middle of a swamp.
Father Christmas: That's
called 'The Wizard of Ooze'!
- » Q: How many Cancerians does
it take to
change a lightbulb? A: Just one, and they'll use a
non-disposable
diaper too!
- » Why was the farmer
hopping mad ?
Because someone had trodden on his corn !
- » What do you get if you cross a ghost and a
newsreader ?
A spooksman !