Treść
What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde
?
A jet setter !
Losowe wpisy
- » What did one mosquito say to
another when
they came out of the cinema?
Fancy a bite?
- » What's the difference between a peeping Tom and
someone who's just got out of the bath?
One is rude and nosey.
The other is nude and rosey!
- » One day there were
two boys playing by a
stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went
over to it and the
other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at
the bush so
long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The
two boys
were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a
sudden
the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't
understand
why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught
up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My
mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I
felt
something getting hard, so I ran."
- » Q: Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation
of character suit against his critics?
A: Because Bill Clinton
has no character to defame.
- » When Lee ate raw onions for a week what did he
become?
Lone Lee.
- » Teacher: Why are you pushing
garlic into
the computer's disk drive?
Pupil: To keep vampires off the
Internet
Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet
Pupil:
See? It works, doesn't it?
- » There is a new Barbie
doll on the
market - Disco Barbie ...dressed in chiffon; inclbiudes disco
ball
- » Stewardess"
"Yes, Sir?" "I want to
complain about this airline. Every time I
fly, I get the same seat, I
can't see the in-flight movie and there are
no windows blinds so I
can't sleep." "Captain, shut up and land the
plane."
- » An exasperated caller to Tech Support
couldn't get her new
computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed
the power button. Her
response "I pushed and pushed on this foot
pedal and nothing happens."
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse.
- » A business man was interviewing
applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to
select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each
applicant the
question, "What is two and two?"
The first interviewee
was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two."
The second was a
social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer
but I'm glad we
had time to discuss this important question."
The third
applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and
showed the answer
to be between 3.999 and 4.001.
The next person was a lawyer. He
stated that in the case of Jenkins v
Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld),
two and two was proven to be four.
The last applicant was an
accountant. The business man asked him, "How
much is two and
two?"
The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and
closed
it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk
and said in a
low voice, "How much do you want it to
be?"
He got the job.
- » Sharon: I'm so homesick.
Sheila: But this is
your home!
Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.
- » A man calls his
family
doctor:
man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a
rabbit.
doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help.
man:
Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her.
- » Collection Litter
by Phil D Basket
- » I saw the most beautiful
cars in the
window of a dealership recently. A sales man came out and
said:
'Come on in. They're bigger than ever and they last a lifetime!'
Later I learned he was talking about the payments.
- » Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a
vampire.
Drink this glass of water.
Will it make me better?
No, but I'll be able to see if your neck
leaks.