Treść
Why do dogs
run in circles ?
Because its
hard to run in squares !
Losowe wpisy
- » A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a
party, and
after a few drinks,
he suggested that they might have
another try at marriage. His ex-wife
sneered in reply, "Over my dead
body !"
He downed his drink and replied, "Well, I see you haven't
changed one
little bit."
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bosnia
!
Bosnia who ?
Bosnia bell here earlier !
- » Have you seen www.amnesia.com?
Sorry, I
just can't remember.
- » What do dogs have that
no other animal has
?
Puppy dogs !
- » A wildlife biologist is working in the
woods,
miles from the nearest town. He's camped alone with his dog and
cat as
his companions. Suddenly, an old gentleman carrying a small
limp dog,
franticly runs into his camp.
"Please, please help
me! I think something has happened to Willie. Our
Winnebago is parked
just around the bend and we've seen you camped
here. We didn't
know what to do. We thought of you because we had seen
all this
scientific equipment laying around here. Can you help him?"
" Sir, I'm
not a vet, I'm a wildlife biologist," the young
biologist told the
worried man.
"Can you please just have a look at him, I'll pay you
anything you
need. I just need to know. If he's still alive, maybe
I can rush him
into town."
"Ok, put him here on the table." The
young biologist looks the limp
dog over, but its plain that the dog
is dead,, no pulse or signs of
breathing.
"I'm sorry
sir, but I'm afraid poor Willie is dead."
"No, I can't believe
that..... It can't be true...are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm quite
sure."
"I just can't believe that....With all this equipment, isn't
there
something you can do? I must be absolutely sure."
The
biologist called his big yellow cat over to the table. The cat
walked
around the dead dog, occasionally sniffing at the carcass. He then
looks
up at the biologist and let out a few weak meows.
"Well, the cat say
he's dead. Does that assure you?"
"No, I need more than that...Do
you have anything else?"
The biologist calls over his big black dog.
The dog circles the body a
few times, sniffing it every now and
then. After a few moments, the dog
barks at the biologist.
"Well,
now the dog says he's dead. That's all I can do for you
sir."
"OK, well I guess its true. I'll take him back and bury him...How
much do I owe you?"
"It'll be $650 bucks." The biologist tells
the old man.
"What??", replied the old man, "How can you charge
that much??!!"
"Well sir, I could have told you he was dead for only a
dollar, but
you're the one that insisted on the cat scan and the
lab tests!"
- » All of these pilot and aviation jokes get me
to thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he
would
always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer
questions.
One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the
reserve doesn't
open, how long do we have until we hit the
ground?"
Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and
answered,
"The rest of your life."
- » Why aren't burgers too
good at
basketball?
Too many turnovers!
- » Fred: You've got a Roman nose.
Harry: Like
Julius Caesar?
Fred: No, it's roamin' all over your face.
- » Judge: Tell me your occupation.
Prisoner;
I'm a locksmith, Your Honour.
Judge: Then what were you doing in a
jewellery shop in the middle of
the night when the police saw you?
Prisoner; Making a bolt for the door!
- » Harry approached a prostitute and asked, "How
much for a blow job
?".
"Hundred Bucks".
"OK", he said and
began to jerk off.
"What the hell are you doing that for?"
"For
hundred bucks you don't think I'm going to give you the easy
one, do
you ?"
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Abel
!
Abel who ?
Abel to see you, ha, ha!
- » There is a new Barbie doll on
the
market - Homeless Barbie ...complete with stolen K-Mart shopping
cart
- » What three letters in the alphabet frighten
criminals?
F.B.I.
- » Waiter, waiter!
There's a spider in my
soup. Send for the manager! It's no good, sir,
he's frightened of
them, too.
- » The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to
eat
the apple.