Treść
Why did the pig go to the casino ?
To play the
slop machine !
Losowe wpisy
- » Why was the calf afraid?
He was a cow-herd!
- » How
do you make a Gorilla laugh?
Tell
it an elephant joke!
- » A man is walking down the street
when he sees a sign in the
window of a travel agency that says
CRUISES - $100. He goes into the
agency and hands the guy $100. The
travel agent then whacks him over the
head with a baseball bat and
throws him in the river.
Another man is walking down the street a
half hour later, sees the sign
and pays the guy $100. The travel agent
then whacks him with the
baseball bat and throws him in the
river.
Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together
and
the first man asks, "Do you think they'll serve any food on
this
cruise?"
The second man says, "I don't think so. They
didn't do it last
year."
- » Q: How many musicians does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and
17 to be on
the guest list.
- » On what should you mount a statue of your cat
?
A caterpillar !
- » A convicted con man was recently found to be
impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which one judge remarked,
"I
should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so
punctual and
polite."
- » An American manufacturer is showing his
machine factory to a
potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the
lunch whistle blows,
two thousand men and women immediately stop
work and leave the building.
"Your workers, they're escaping!"
cries the visitor. "You've got
to stop them."
"Don't worry,
they'll be back," says the American. And indeed, at
exactly one
o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return
from
their break.
When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his
guest and says,
"Well, now, which of these machines would you like
to order?"
"Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much do
you want for
that whistle?"
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bossy
!
Bossy who ?
Bossy just fired me !
- » Four workers
were discussing how smart their
dogs were. The first was an engineer
who said his dog could draw.
His dog's name was "T-Square", and he
told him to get some paper and
draw a square, a circle and a triangle,
which he did with no sweat.
The accountant said he thought his dog, "Balance", could do better.
He told him to fetch a dozen cookies and divide them into piles of
three, which he did with no problem.
The chemist said that was
a very good stunt, but that his dog,
"Apothecary", could do better
yet. He told his dog to get a quart of milk and
pour seven ounces
into a ten ounce glass. Apothecary did this without a
hitch.
All
three men agreed their dogs were equally smart. They turned to the
Civil Servant and asked him what his dog could do. The Civil Servant
called his dog, whose name was "Coffee break", and said, "Show the
fellows what you can do, old buddy." Coffee Break then stroll
ed over and
ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper,
screwed the other
three dogs and claimed he injured his back while
doing so. He then filed
a grievance for unsafe conditions, applied
for Workers' Compensation,
and left for home on sick leave.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Ali
!
Ali who ?
Ali-luyah, at last you've opened the door !
- » Sir you
haven't touched your
custard.
I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline
!
- » Did you hear
about the blonde who after
watching the ballerinas, wondered why they
didn't get taller
girls?
- » What do lightning bolts do when they
laugh?
-They crack up
- » A Texan, a Russian, and
a New Yorker go
into a restaurant in London.
''Excuse me, but if you wanted the
steak you might not get one as
there is a shortage due to the mad
cow disease,'' says the waiter.
The Texan says, ''What's a
shortage?''
The Russian says, ''What's a steak?''
The New Yorker says, ''What's excuse me?''
- » Why do bald-headed men never use
keys?
Because they've lost their locks.