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- » Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".
- » What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.
- » Why is a cat like a penny? Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.
- » Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They're both filled with stiffs, one's coming, one's going.
- » Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet ? Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes !
- » What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? You cry when you cut up an onion.
- » How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb? None, a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.
- » Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny? Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.
- » Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
- » If a flea and a fly pass each other what time is it? Fly past flea.
- » Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.
- » Who started the campfire website? Some bright spark.
- » Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked, 'what did you think of the scenery ?' 'Oh, I couldn't see much,' Harry admitted. 'There were all these mountains in the way.'
- » Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat.
- » How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb? "Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill."