Treść
How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those
eggs?
He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.
Losowe wpisy
- » Q. What's the
difference between
'weather' and 'climate'?
A. You can 't 'weather' a tree, but you can
'climate'!
- » What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid
of?
A Doberman puncher!
- » A
very successful businessman had a
meeting with his new son-in-law. "I
love my daughter, and now I welcome
you into the family," said the
man. "To show you how much we care
for you, I'm making you a 50-50
partner in my business. All you
have to do is go to the factory every day
and learn the operations."
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the
noise."
"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then
you'll work in the
office and take charge of some of the operations."
"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being
stuck behind a desk all day."
"Wait a minute," said the
father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner
of a moneymaking
organization, but you don't like factories and won't
work in a office. What
am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me
out."
- » When a visitor to a small town in Georgia
came upon a wild dog
attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the
animal and throttled it with
his two hands.
A reporter saw the
incident, congratulated the man and told him the
headline the
following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by
Killing
Vicious Animal."
The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from
that town.
"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will
probably say,
'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing
Dog'."
"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."
"In that case,"
the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should
read, 'Yankee
Kills Family Pet'."
- » Why do cemeteries have fences around
them?
Because people are dying to get in.
- » Q: What
is the difference between the first
and last desk of a viola section?
A: Half a measure.
- » How did the telephones get married ?
In a
double ring ceremony !
- » ttle Johnny was in class and the teacher
announced that
they were going to try something different to help
everyone get to know
each other a little better, and to help with their
spelling.
She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the
occupation of
your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give
us all if he was
here today."
The first student raised her
hand to volunteer.
"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go
first."
Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he
was here
today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin
stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if
he
was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.
Jeff was next, and he said,
"My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait,
A-C-K, no..."
n
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut
him off
and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a
while. When
he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up
and try
again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement
hoping to be acknowledged
by the teacher. The teacher called on
little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, "My father is a bookie.
B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here
today, he would give us all 20:1 odds
Jeff will never be able to spell
"accountant."
- » Where did all the cuts and blood come
from?
The school went on a trip!
- » Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?
A: A new bar
- » One of Microsoft's finest
technicans was
drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he
was given
some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots
at the
target. The report came from the target area that all attempts
had
completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his
rifle, and then at the target. He looked
at the rifle again, and then at
the target again. He put his finger over
the end of the rifle
barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other
hand. The end of his
finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the
target area,
"It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at
your end!"
- » What dogs are best for sending telegrams ?
Wire
haired terriers !!
- » What did the snake say when offered a
piece
of cheese ?
Thanks, I'll just have a sliver !
- » What do you call an ant in space ?
Cosmonants &
Astronants !
- » Have you seen
www.blottingpaper.com?
Yes, I found it very absorbing.