Treść
How does an elephant get down from a tree
?
He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !
Losowe wpisy
- » What
happens when the fog lifts in
California? UCLA.
- » A military cargo plane, flying over a
populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot
tries
to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy.
So he
yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the
plane
lighter. They throw out a pistol. "Throw out more!" shouts
the pilot. So
they throw out a rifle. "More!" he cries again. They
heave out a
missile, and the pilot regains control.
He pulls
out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into
a jeep
and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the
road
who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says "A pistol
hit me on the head!"
They drive more and meet another boy who's
crying even harder. Again
they ask why and the boy says, "A rifle
hit me on the head!"
They apologize and keep driving. They meet a
boy on the sidewalk who's
laughing hysterically. They ask h
im, "Kid, what's so funny?" The boy
replies, "I sneezed and a
house blew up!"
- » What did one bell say to the other?
"Be my
valenchime!"
- » Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill
for men?
A: It changes their blood type.
- » Son: Is it true?
Dad, I heard that in
ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until
he
marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
- » How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships
?
With their eyes shut !
- » Did the bionic
monster have a
brother ?
No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!
- » The social
worker asked the bartender
"What's the difference between your job and
mine?"
The bartender
replied: "I only had to go to bartender school for 6
weeks and I
learned to mix a very good drinks, than wait a couple of hours
to
have people tell me their innermost thoughts while you went to
school
for 6 years, paid thousands and thousands of dollars, sit session
after session using technique after technique, and you still may never
hear them!!!
- » Marley stopped at the town
barbershop for a
haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and
cutting, the barber
held a mirror behind Marley's head.
"How
you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck.
"But
how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
- » Q: What do
you call a cat who eats lemons? -
A: A sourpuss!
- » What do cows sing at their friends birthday
parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo
- » I told you not to let those pigs In my office.
Now, look what's happened.
They've eaten all the dates off my
calendar!
- » Q: Why couldn't the cat speak?
A: The dog
taped his mouth.
- » Pa's being
chased by a bull!
Well, what
in tarnation do you want me to do about it?
Get me some film for my
camera!
- » yo mama's o fat she supplies 99% of
British gas.