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Did you hear about the pub owner who raised
a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare!
Losowe wpisy
- » Why did God create a man before
a
women?
You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.
- » What kind of phone makes music?
A
saxophone.
- » There
is a new Barbie doll on the
market - Lion Tamer Barbie ...lion is
included; Barbie's head is
not
- » Hillary Clinton goes to
her doctor for a
physical, only to find out
that she's pregnant! She is furious. Here
just became the senator of
New York and this has happened to her.
She gets Bill on the phone and
immediately starts screaming: "How
could you have let this happen?
With all that's going on right now,
you go and get me pregnant! How
could you??!!! I can't believe this!
I just found out I am five weeks
pregnant and it is all your
fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have
you got to say???"
There is
nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams
again, "Did you hear
me??!!" Finally she hears Bill's very, very
quiet voice. In a
barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is
this?"
- » Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher
pig?
Because he was an old boar.
- » Why should you never invite a pig to join your
tug-of-war team?
Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.
- » Who is the Lone Aardvark's faithful Indian
companion?
Tanto
- » The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town
had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his
friends and
family started toward their cars.
However, they stopped
because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard
from the
grave.
As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, "Don't
worry... it's just the dispatcher toning him out."
- » Mandy was
applying for a summer
job.
'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store.
'I'm twelve
years old, Sir,' answered Mandy.
'And what do you expect to be when
you grow up ?'
'Twenty one, Sir.'
- » Did you hear about the man who was half
Jewish & half Italian?
He made himself an offer he couldn't
understand.
- » There was once a
young man who, in his
youth, professed his desire to become a great
writer.
When
asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that
the whole
world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly
emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and
anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bridget
!
Bridget who ?
Bridget the end of the world !
- » It seems a gentleman had too
much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a
state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a
straight
line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out
a ticket
and had just given it to the driver before an accident in
the opposite
lane took his attention to more important
matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming
back to
him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the
morning by a
knock at the door, created by two more state
troopers.
"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he
was.
"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the
influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.
"And what did
you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied
that he drove his
car home and went to bed.
"Where is your car now?" the t
roopers enquired. The man answered that
it was in the
garage.
"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure,"
and opened the garage.
Inside the garage was the state
troopers car.
- » Why was
the restaurant called "Out of
this World"?
Because it was full of Unidentified Frying Objects.
- » Q: How many bassoonists does it take to screw in
a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they'll insist on going through
about 5 bulbs before
they find one that suits this particular room
and situation.