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- » Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you? Pupil: Not very much!
- » If Microsoft built cars you would need to restart your car, then it would perform illegal operations and crash.
- » Rigby drove into the city with his girl to catch their first play at a theater. Rigby rushed up to the box office and said, "Gimme two tickets for tonight's show." "Sorry," said the box office attendant. "There are no seats left. We have only two standing rooms left." "Well, I'll be hog tied! Only two left in standing room!" said the farm boy. "Are they together?"
- » How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face.
- » Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.
- » Waiter, there is a fly in my soup ! Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor !
- » Why was the robber bionic? He was holding up a bank.
- » What do you call an road construction aardvark? A tarredvark!
- » Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
- » Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !
- » How do you join a Vampire Fan Club? Send your name, address and blood group.
- » What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
- » Knock Knock Who's there ! Bologna ! Bologna who ? Bologna & cheese !
- » Knock Knock Who's there ! Army Ant ! Army Ant who ? Army Ants coming for tea then ?
- » What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ? An octopuss !