
Treść
"Please, ma'am! How do you spell ichael?"
The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael?" she
asked. "No, ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."
Losowe wpisy
- » where does saddam hussein keep his c.d
collection?
In Iraq (a rack)
- » Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road
surfing
the Net?
The www.izard of Oz.
- » Customer: There's something wrong with my hot
dogs.
Waiter: Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterinarian.
- » What is the
best way to follow a lost dog's
paw prints?
With a track-tor!
- » A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for
obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the
police
raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes,
including the young
girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a
straight line on
the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the
neighborhood, but little
old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked
curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma
in
on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people
were
passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some
myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A
police
officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the
prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he
was bewildered.
"But you're so old... how do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my
dentures and suck 'em dry!"
- » Republican parents have
no problem
buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why
their kids pretend to shoot each
other with dolls.
- » A minister and lawyer were chatting at a
party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister
asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's
insignificant,"
replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?" lawyer asked.
"Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day
I meant to say 'the devil is the father of liars,' but instead I
said
'the devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go,"
minister
replied.
- » Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to
dress up for Halloween.
- » Q: How many
Russians does it take to change
a light bulb?
A: That's a military secret.
- » Q: How many
existentialists does it take to
screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to screw
it in and one to
observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single
incandescent beacon
of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless
absurdity
reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.
- » What do you call an aardvark that's just lost
a
fight?
A vark!
- » Why did the bed spread?
Because it saw the
pillow slip.
- » A customer walks into a restaurant and
notices
a large sign on the wall: $500 If we fail to fill your order!
When his
waitress arrives, he orders elephant nuts on rye.
She
calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen where all
hell
breaks loose!
The restaurant owner comes storming out of the
kitchen. He runs up to
the customer's table, slaps five $100 bills
down on it and says, "You
got me this time buddy, but I want you to
know that's the first time
in ten years we've been out of rye
bread!"
- » Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
He
thought he might get a kick out of it!
- » What nickname did the police give to the new
blonde woman police officer?
A fair cop.