Treść
Fan: I've always admired you. Are your teeth
your own?
Actor: Whose do you think they are?
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: What is the difference
between Dan
Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
- » Is it good to drink witch's brew?
Yes, it's
very newt tricious!
- » A man is driving down the road for a
long period of time.
During
his travel, he sees a priest with
a gas can hitch hiking, so he
gladly picks him up he
says,"Normally father, i dont pick up hitch
hikers. You seem like a man of
dignity so i thought id make an
exception.
In fact i hate
hitch hikers. The priest nods his head and they drive on
Along the
way, The driver spots another man hitch hiking. "that dirty
son
of %$#%#% ill fix him". He then swirves the car and tries to make the
hit
and run like an accident. Dang! i missed. The priests
yells,"Don't
worry
i got him with the gas can!"
- » A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car,
but burned her lips
on the tailpipe.
- » Hey buddy.
How late does the band
play?
About half a beat behind the drummer.
- » A man went into a pet shop to buy a
parrot. He was
shown an especially fine one which he liked the look
of, but he was
puzzled by the two strings which were tied to its
feet. "What are they
for?" he asked the pet shop manager. "Ah well,
sir," came the reply,
"that's a very unusual feature of this
particular parrot. You see,
he's a trained parrot, sir, he used to be in
the circus. If you pull the
string on his left foot he says
'Hello' and if you pull the string on
his left foot he says 'Goodbye'."
"And what happens if you pull
both strings at once?" "I fall off my
perch, you fool!" screeched the
parrot.
- » A motorist ran into a shop.
"Do you
own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the
manager.
"Oh dear," said the motorist, "I must have run over a
nun."
- » The food in our school canteen is
perfect.
If your a bug!
- » Grandma, is it exciting being 99?
It
certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.
- » What did the judge say when a skunk entered the
courtroom?
Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!
- » What is the best thing to take when
you're run over?
The number of the car that hit you.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Cook
!
Cook who ?
Cuckoo yourself, I don't come here to be insulted !
- » Once there was a millionaire, who collected
live
alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion.
The
millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day
he decides
to throw a huge party, and during the party he
announces, "My dear
guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I
will give one
million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim
across this pool full
of alligators and emerge alive!"
As
soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large
splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and
screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as
though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the
other side
with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The
millionaire was
impressed.
He said, "My boy that was incredible!
Fantastic! I didn't think it
could be done! Well I must keep
my end of the bargain. Do you want my
daughter or the one million
dollars?"
The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money, nor
do I want your
daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that
water!"
- » Q: How many Serbs does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
A: Two-one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw
the new one
in.
- » What happened when the girl dressed as
a
spoon left the Halloween party ?
No one moved. They couldn't stir
without her.