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- » Wife: "Do you think of me when you're away darling?" Husband: "Yes honey, I always bare you in mind."
- » Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels? She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.
- » Q: What did the blonde say during a porno? A: "There I am!"
- » How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
- » Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise? Because the captain stood on the deck.
- » Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street? Resident: No, it's 66, but we turn it upside down to confuse people.
- » What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ? Chimney Cricket !
- » What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !
- » How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye? When it comes out in conversation.
- » Motorist: Does a deer have a horn? Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns. Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.
- » What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.
- » What does a Gorilla attorney study? The Law of the jungle!
- » Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? A. In the pages of a romance novel.
- » What do some burger eaters have? A Hardee appetite!
- » Mum, Mum, Dad's broken my computer! How did he do that? I dropped it on his head.