
Treść
Standing at the
edge of the lake, a man
saw a woman flailing about in the deep water.
Unable to swim, the man
screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The
man said, "My wife
is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her.
I'll give you a
hundred dollars."
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful
strokes, he reached
the woman, put his arm around her, and swam
back to shore. Depositing
her at the feet of the man, the fisherman
said, "Okay, where's my
hundred dollars?"
The man said,
"Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I
thought it was my
wife. But this is my mother-in-law."
The fisherman reached into
his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How
much do I owe you?"
Losowe wpisy
- » Q: What does Clinton have in common with his
Hollywood pals?
A: They all make a living by lying to people.
- » A father and his small son were standing in front
of the tiger's
cage at the zoo.
Father was explaining how
ferocious and strong tigers are and junior
was taking it all in
with a serious expression.
Dad," the boy said finally, "if the
tiger got out of his cage and ate
you up ..."
"Yes, son?" the
father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" the boy
finished.
- » What happened to the cannibal lion?
He
had to swallow his pride.
- » Knock Knock
Who's there !
Bette
!
Bette who ?
Bette of roses!
- » What do you call a literary fish?
Salmon
Rushdie!
- » An exasperated caller to Tech Support
couldn't get her new
computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed
the power button. Her
response "I pushed and pushed on this foot
pedal and nothing happens."
The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse.
- » A technician advised his customer to put his
troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door. The customer
put the disk in, asked
the tech to hold on, and was heard putting
the phone down, getting up
and closing the door to his room.
- » Fred came home from his first day at school.
"Nothing exciting
happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher
didn't know how to spell
cat so I told her"
- » Two men were out hunting when one of them saw
a rabbit. "Quick," said the first, "shoot it." "I can't," said
the second. "My gun isn't loaded." "Well," said the first," you
know that, and I know that, but the rabbit doesn't."
- » Mr Evans was the Chief Accountant of a large
manufacturing concern.
Every day, on arriving at work, he would
unlock the top drawer of his
desk, peer at something inside, then
close and lock the drawer. He had
done this for 25 years. The entire
staff was intrigued but no-one was
game to ask him what was in the
drawer. Finally the time came for Mr
Evans to retire. There was a
farewell party with speeches and a
presentation. As soon as Mr Evans
had left the building some of the staff rushed
into his office,
unlocked the top drawer and peered in. Taped to the
bottom of the
drawer was a sheet of paper. It read, "The debit side is
the one nearest
the window."
- » What's the difference between a hunter and a
fisherman?
A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.
- » Q: Why does everyone love cats? - A: They're
purr-fect!
- » What surfs the
Internet and goes, 'Choo,
Choo'?
Thomas the Search Engine.
- » Garvin the mammalogist, was in Alaska
studying polar bear. In sub-zero weather, he would spend 7 days out on
the
ice. But, after his 7 days in the field, he would return to the
small town
and spend a day or two resting up and drinking in the
only bar in town.
On one particular day it was 40 below zero and
Garvin made his way into
the bar. He asked Bud, the bartender, for a
whiskey.
"I don't know, Garvin, you sure have run-up a big
bill in here." The
bartender told him.
" I know," Garvin replied,
"But I'm flat broke, and I sure could
use a drink.
"OK," The
barkeep told him, "I'll just write your tab down on the
piece of
paper and pin it up here by the coat rack."
"Oh no, don't do that, I
don't want everyone in town to see it.
"Don't worry," The bartender
replied, "I'm going to cover it up
with your parka until its
paid!"
- » Recently scientists revealed
that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove
their theory, the scientists fed 100 men twelve bottles of
beer
each. The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group gained
weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and
couldn't drive.
No further testing is planned.